Tuesday, October 28, 2008

aktiviti minggu ini

saturday: bbq raya at my place with the usuals!




sunday: ruby's engagement (congrats babe!)



monday: makan2 at my place with my coursemates. i cook! (with a little help from my frens :P)




conclusion: sangat penat expecially with the cooking. i never cook for a whole lot of ppl. gatal kan? thank god my frens come and help. co-host bersame2. at the end of the day, sibuk kemas rumah all by myself. but i had so much fun hanging out with all my frens. sayang bangat kamu semua! :)

(more pics will be uploaded on my facebook/frenster)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

it's not easy.

it's soo not easy.

and i'm still hoping. damn it, i'm still hoping.

pathetic. soo pathetic.

Monday, October 13, 2008

lagu yg comel. i like! :)

cant find the full song playlist. so silalah download kalau suka. mekaseh. :)

Lucky - Jason Mraz

Jason Mraz & Colbie Caliet - Lucky

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Thursday, October 9, 2008

decisions

it's quite depressing that u put hope on something that u really really want but also knowing that the possibilities sangatla tipis.

sometimes what we really want didnt turn out to be a good thing after all.

so how do we know if it's really what we want?

decisions. confuse betul.

like in my case, i am so hoping to work in a company dealing with personal care products. specifically maybe in Unilever. but knowing that my qualifications is not good enough to be in that kind of big company, agak frustrating la jugak. menyesal pun ade. hmph.

and then this MPOB thing. i met up with the Timbalan Ketua Pengarah of MPOB(long story short, my dad's friend is a friend of her) and we talk about projects handled by them (they did a lot on personal care products and the place is so big and byk gile facilities. teruja!). and then she asked me to meet up with the Ketua Unit of the division yg buat bendalah ni. so i met up with her and we had a loooong chat. she's a very nice lady. sangat baik! so agak hoping la ade keje kosong. and she said "ooh we have enough researchers already. but if ade vacancy, i'll let u know. u can email me or u can just check online" then came up the question, "so what is your result?". "2nd class lower. sikiiit lagi nk upper". "ohh okey. but actually we prefer org yg ade 2nd degree. takut u tak boleh cope nnti. u know, org yg wat 2nd degree dh biase wat research. so bile keje, it wont be a problem. buat research ni u kene betul2 focus tau. we only guide u sikit2 je. u have to do it on ur own. independently. and what we do is not just the formulation. we have to come up with a new ingredients...the chemical bonding..bla bla bla bla..." and she goes on and on, showing all her projects and whatever. fuhh agak menjatuhkan sikit la confidence level gua.

i'm thinking, "shit. can i do this?" and then mcm tau2 je kan. "ohh i'm not gonna discourage u ke ape. i just nk bagitau u how doing research is all about". no wonder my friends that pursued masters said they have no life.

so since takde vacancy, the only option is to pursue masters and then apply a scholarship provided by MPOB. in a way, i'll be doing my research there jugak la.

although interested la jugak, tp cuak and tak confident sangat that i'll be able to do it. i'm worried that this end up not my thing. at the same time, i wanna work. i want an income. but i want a job that i enjoy doing it. i want a job of my interest.

*sigh* decisions decisions..

which way should i go?

i want something challenging but i'm scared i'm not gonna be happy. and i think being happy is so important in anything u do. the ppl around jugak. sumber2 motivasi nie.

ughhh. so i'm still confuse.

i so wanna be a sucessfull career woman but it's a looong looong way to go. i cant even make one simple decision. *sigh*

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

mixed feelings altogether.

bored with the job.

clueless of the future.

confused and worried with the decisions.

struggling with the life after what happened.

happy with the relationship.

sad with the feelings that's hard to go away.

lonely. verryy lonely.