tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60150804001986897962024-03-04T20:36:10.734-08:00my so-called lifethoughts of what i've been through in my lifeHanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.comBlogger242125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-62894025519146261392014-01-09T18:24:00.000-08:002014-01-09T18:24:43.796-08:0037 weeks<div style="text-align: justify;">
pejam celik dh nk penghujung dh. </div>
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was staying at home for couple of weeks now (kira start cuti la konon) cuz cepat sgt penat when i go back and forth to work. so not uncomfortable.</div>
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but even duk rumah pun, i was struggling siapkan my thesis. very determined to settle it before i go into labour. alhamdulillah i did it. </div>
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sort of. biasalah masters ni kan byk stage. i sent to my supervisor for her to check. tp nk buat corrections lps tu mmg x smpat la kot. kalau ikut due, i have to sent back my corrections to faculty by 13 feb. by then, i probably dh deliver my baby and be in my pantang dah. confirm susah nk buat thesis tu. anyway, at least i've done my part. hopefully x byk corrections lah. </div>
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getting nearer to my due makin nervous lak. read a lot of infos and ask a lot of experienced ppl. mmg la kt tau it's gonna hurt but god knows how much it's gonna hurt right?</div>
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last 2 days i was having a terrible back pain, so i decided to go check at the hospital (which i regretted). dhla tunggu berjam, lepas tu kena seluk pulak to see my laluan. baru 1 cm , doc ckp.</div>
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bila dh rasa kena seluk tu yg sakit, i was like..ya allah yg tu pn sakit, mcmana nk bersalin nnti ni. </div>
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it could be anytime soon now. not yet having any contractions but i do hope i can tahan the pain. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah..</div>
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part of me just want the baby out already. penat.. but another part of me says, can i skip the labour part? lols.</div>
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pray for me and wish me luck!</div>
Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-47428232792127919582013-11-19T00:30:00.003-08:002013-11-19T00:30:53.013-08:00thesis and baby.<div style="text-align: justify;">
it's been tiring really to be studying for 4 years now for my masters. sigh the neverending journey..</div>
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but alhamdulillah, i finally settled my viva. i got my masters but with 3 months correction time. still got some labworks to do and writings. i considered myself lucky i didn't fail. it was close call. rezeki baby maybe. </div>
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towards my viva day too, my husband was admitted to the hospital for denggi berdarah. it was a scary thing as his platelet was dropped to 9! luckily he recovered thanks to the prayers from family and friends. masa tu tuhan je la yg tau how i was really tired carrying my baby and going back and forth to the hospital taking care of my husband. and then right after that, i was struggling with getting my research done for the presentation day. pagi smpai malam mengadap laptop everyday. mcm nak pengsan.</div>
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it kinda sucks. at 30 weeks pregnant now and getting heavier each day, it's a challenge to move around (dahla lab tingkat 10) and to perah otak trying to solve all the problems in my research. and thesis wiritings (oh man!) i thought boleh relaks after viva but clearly i'm wrong. sometimes i feel i want to take my maternity leave now and eat desserts everyday. eh?</div>
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but time is so limited for me. i really hope i can get it all done before i deliver so i can move on after that and focus on my baby. </div>
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talking about my baby, pejam celik dah 30 weeks. baby is so active nowadays sometimes it hurts. as much as i'm excited for my baby to come out, it's scary too. scary for the labour pain and more importantly scary for how are we gonna cope with a baby. i'm sure our lives gonna change after that. </div>
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so many things to think about. right now i'm thinking more about financials. clearly, there's a lot that we have to buy and provide for the baby (and for mommy too). being married and living on our own is quite tougher on the financials compared to living with ur parents/in laws i think. and the fact that i dont really have a proper income worries me. i still dont think it's enough for just my husband to have an income. tak cukup wei. living in kl is high cost i think both husband and wife working is more balanced. plus i just finished my masters i'm not ready yet to let go of my dream job.</div>
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although yes, with all these horror stories of babysitters and my own experience, of course kalau boleh i want to take care of my baby myself. gosh i hope we get a good babysitter later (altho belum cari lagi) and probably nearer to my office (wherever i will work later). one other thing is to work and being a mother. pheww even being pregnant and wife pun dah terasa kepenatannya. going home from work, going thru traffic jams and then cooks for my husband and doing all the household chores. i wonder what's it like when we have a baby. ini belum cerita baby meragam lagi.</div>
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i think we bought a lot of the essentials already and probably some last shopping within this month. who knows, labour can happen anytime now right? *nervous*</div>
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my husband punya nature of job pulak is so busy. i understand his job tapi dah akhir2 pregnancy ni risau jugak sorg2 at home whenever he's outstation. what if suddenly nk terberanak? who am i gonna call? omg semoga terpelihara lah. </div>
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3 months to go. for my thesis and for the delivery of my baby. coincidence tak together-gether? </div>
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semoga dipermudahkan!</div>
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<br />Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-5936931279086953552013-10-06T20:38:00.000-07:002013-10-06T20:38:12.451-07:00focus on the positive. i figure the previous post was a little too much so i remove it. not all people could really understand it so lets just save it as one of my family dramas and dugaan i have to face.<br />
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not happy about it though but focusing on the positive part now.<br />
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just breath and smile. :)<br />
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<br />Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-49764924825462916352013-06-26T20:54:00.002-07:002013-06-26T20:54:45.229-07:00of pregnancy and others.hello there!<br />
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it's been a while..<br />
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guess what? we're 3 months married already and i'm almost 9 weeks pregnant!<br />
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time flies huh..<br />
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i've heard about all this crazy symptoms pregnant ladies experience but alhamdulillah, not so crazy for me.<br />
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but oh dear, i'm always tired!<br />
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like really tired exhausted even when i'm not doing anything.<br />
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lucky for me, i dont have all those muntah-muntah symptoms, only loya-loya a bit. i'm like extra hygienic now. i cannot smell anything dirty. everything must be clean. even sweeping the floor makes me loya sometimes.<br />
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cooking too has been a challenge now. at the beginning of our marriage, i was all oh so excited to cook. and i'm proud to say that i can cook!. lol. talent tak pernah discover sgt. but not great like all those chefs la. still learning.<br />
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anyway, since like few weeks ago. cooking routine has been reduced. i no longer have that excitement to cook anymore and somehow everything in the kitchen smells blergh.<br />
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and exactly right now, still feeling so tired, muscles aches, bloated. oh my god very bloated it's so uncomfortable. annndd my sinus is worse during pregnancy. blocked nose, bloated, not so good combination.<br />
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anyway, not trying to complaint but i hope it'll be over soon. cuz all this tiredness making me so unproductive at work/studies. need to finish up thesis/lab a.s.a.p! (yea i know been saying this like forever)<br />
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makan pun challenging now. selera makan not so much like before. but yang buat i selera gila is fruits! fresh fruit juice! yummm. but ever since selalu beli at pasar chowkit, we cannot find fruits at other stores or pasars yg berkenan. lol. chowkit punya super delicious and cheap!<br />
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but seriously, i want more fruits now.<br />
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oh my. </div>
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<br />Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-63141954679334608062013-04-28T21:51:00.001-07:002013-04-28T21:51:29.053-07:00malaysian politics.only one thing to say.<br />
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why the hatred?</div>
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stop talking bad about other people and focus on what you can do for the country. </div>
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and i dont understand those hardcore supporters who always hated each other. it's always 'dia org sana' 'dia org sini'. so what? everybody has different views and opinions. </div>
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jarang sangat that we can talk openly about politics in malaysia without being bias to any political parties. if we ask the supporters why they sokong their respective parties, their answers were never satisfying! most of the time they always kutuk the other side and said that they're better. how to have open conversation like thaatt?<br />
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ok emo pulak.<br />
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seriously people, be nice to one another okay? stop the hatred. </div>
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Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-77208744383467142392013-04-14T22:47:00.000-07:002013-04-14T22:47:28.373-07:00our honeymoon @ tioman island<div style="text-align: justify;">
initially, we planned to go somewhere else for our honeymoon. but then one of syib's relatives wanted to give us a wedding present, a sponsored hotel room under <a href="http://www.berjayahotel.com/">Berjaya.</a> so we thought, hey, jimat kos, why not? there are several hotels/locations under Berjaya Malaysia. we chose tioman. </div>
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the night after the majlis bertandang in the afternoon, we took the bus from <a href="http://www.tbsbts.com.my/">TBS</a> since it's just like 5 mins away from our current house. we have never been to TBS before so we're a bit jakun. so impressed with the place, the facilities and the service. macam airport!</div>
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we started our journey around midnight and arrived at mersing about 5 in the morning. from the bus station, we walk to the jetty to wait for our ferry. there was one counter selling ferry tickets at the bus station (we bought ours there) but you can also buy them at the jetty. after suboh prayers and breakfast, we checked in ourselves at the tempat menunggu for the supposed to be 8.30 am ferry. turned out the ferry only arrived around 10 for god knows why. sigh. </div>
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you must know which kampung you're staying bcuz the ferry will make a few pit stops to send passengers at different kampung. pulau tioman is so big there are several kampungs and you can only travel kampung to kampung by boat. there is no proper jalan darat. ours was at kampung tekek so we arrived there about 1 and a half hour later from the jetty. i guess we were so tired from the majlis the day before. after checking in our hotel room, went for lunch and then slept all the way. lol.</div>
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we rented a motorcycle to jalan2 around the kampung. since it's not peak season, they are flexible on the rate. we can rent by day or by hours. depending on availability as well. it's convenient if u wanna go check out for more variety of restaurants and convenient stores other than at the hotel. </div>
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so the first night was not so much activities for us (cuz time spent sleeping! lol). we had early seafood dinner at a nearby restaurant and then went round the kampung and just lepak at the beach. it was beautiful at night as you can see stars in the sky. subhanallah sangat cantik. </div>
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the next day was our island hoping day! we got best price from locals to bring only both of us in the boat for the tour. woohoo! we started early around 8.30am. after suboh, went out and had our breakfast at the jetty, lepak a bit then off we went! oh if u go there, dont forget to eat the nasi lemak at the shop opposite the jetty. cant remember the name but it's always full. super delicious!</div>
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and then all i can say is just that it was a beautiful experience. subhanallah. the boatman took us to several places, we enjoyed every single pitstops. corals are beautiful and the fishes are so many! worth every penny. it was even more exciting because syib bought along his waterproof casing for his dslr camera so we got so many beautiful pics it's so difficult to choose for posting. semua pun cantik!</div>
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i wanna show a lot more pics here but it's just too many. oh well, enjoy. </div>
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bye tioman. it was definitely a great trip. totally recommended for beach/sea lovers.</div>
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looking fwd for many explorations together!</div>
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Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-71788579935686401282013-04-04T22:32:00.000-07:002013-04-04T22:32:37.630-07:0023 March 2013.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Alhamdulillah, it's been 13 days since our wedding. On 23rd March, with one lafaz, we're finally married! Sometimes we couldn't believe it ourselves and poking each other and like 'eh kt dah suami isteri ke ni?' </div>
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so thankful and sangat puas hati with everything on that day. the nikah ceremony was in the morning, it was simple and sweet. paling puas hati is the diy pelamin! hehe i'm lovin it. happy that i came out with the idea and my friends and family members helped out. paling best is that i can use every items back. yeay! tiada pembaziran di situ. </div>
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i promised myself not to cry on that day tapi alahai, upon seeing syib crying when he salam-ed his mother, terus drama menangis kat situ. it was overwhelming when i hugged my dad, nda and my aunties. like one of my aunties said (who cried too lol), it was tears of happiness. alhamdulillah. </div>
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the reception at night was perfect too. it was not too formal, not so unformal, it was in between, just how i like it. some of the guests came to me and said that it was a lovely wedding which makes me happy. kinda worried that they'll be uncomfortable with the late makan time etc. alhamdulillah guests were comfortable. (i think). </div>
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was nice catching up with friends and family members. although many couldn't make it to the wedding but i'm a happy kid! :p</div>
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couldn't thank enough my family, friends and everyone helping out through the wedding and everyone who gave us beautiful presents! most importantly, your doa's. </div>
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syukur. :')</div>
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Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-6763890628283872772013-03-17T19:33:00.000-07:002013-03-17T19:33:38.291-07:00five.<div style="text-align: justify;">
five days to go! </div>
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me and syib were talking last night about how finally the day is arriving after 2 years plus of waiting. that period of time really makes us mature and understand and love each other more. we cried, we laughed together. :)</div>
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alhamdulillah, all the major preparations settled. am so blessed with my aunties, uncles, cousins, friends, my dad, my brothers, sis in law and my nda for helping out and giving out ideas for the doorgifts, pelamin etc. making me feel bad for thinking that nobody really cares about me when truth is, there's many of them who cares. </div>
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terharu pulak rasa.</div>
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there's a hikmah for everything. nda has helped a lot too. was always wondering how it'll be like preparing the wedding without a mother. thank god i have nda and my aunties for making me feel i still have that motherly care. </div>
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hope everything turns out well. my only concern is that guests will feel comfortable and enjoy the wedding walaupun tak seberapa. and what's important is that everyone's happy. semoga majlis diberkati and our marriage also diberkati Allah. Amiiinnnnn. :)</div>
Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-4905365530156591192013-03-03T23:55:00.000-08:002013-03-04T00:00:24.477-08:00bunohan.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://www.murai.com.my/article/default.asp?article_id=14154&c=1&s=1">malam dominasi bunohan di ffm 25</a><br />
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i'm so proud of bunohan! and songlap too.<br />
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i know a lot of us are still sceptical about the quality of malaysian movies but i'm still a supporter yo! there still are quality malaysian movies out there, although tak banyak. it's just that majority of malaysian are not interested to watch these kind of movies for god knows why. what to do, the market is like that. the market is more on relaxing comedy (nonsense most of the time) and rempit movies. pity the movie makers.<br />
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when i first know about the movie, i immediately want to watch it. why? because it has all the handsome and talented actors! lol. but of course because the story looks interesting. i like to watch movies lain dari yang lain.<br />
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come on, faizal hussein, one of the most famous heroes some time ago. zahiril adzim and bront palarae have always been my favourite actors. for me they are the talented ones that deserve to get recognitions.<br />
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although the movie is sooo heavy and soo confusing. but i love it. it has all the uniqueness of malaysian culture and it's not typical. we can see that the production team and the actors put a lot of effort on this one.<br />
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so congratulations faizal hussein for pelakon lelaki terbaik (woohoo finally!) and bunohan for filem terbaik among other awards they've won on FFM 25.<br />
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songlap was an amazing movie too. i actually cried watching it. lol. syafiq naswip deserves the supporing actor award. what a talent.<br />
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both great movies i love. i hope malaysians produce more of these kind of movies. chaiyok!<br />
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<br />Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-59155228004666575112013-02-23T23:27:00.000-08:002013-02-23T23:27:12.670-08:001 monthAlmost 1 month already to the big day!<br />
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phew time flies so fast.<br />
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starting to get busy settling things for the wedding and the pindah rumah and the 'settle work before cuti'. :P<br />
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alhamdulillah we just bought a bedroom set for our new home. will be delivered in 2 weeks time. other than maybe washing machine, we're planning on buying other things later. or wait and see what presents will we receive (hint hint).<br />
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phew so much belanja for a big day! even though we try to minimize our spending on the wedding, sometimes ter-over limit jugak. well i did, not syib haha. syib's side is very minimal like that. oh well, girls always gets excited over these things right? but anyway, i'm happy of the way i spent (and my dad's :p). try not to make ridicolous spending and make every money spent worth it. simpan lebih for our new home and honeymoons! note the 's'. hehehe. we were so excited we already have so many travelling plans after marriage! ntah bila nk pegi pun taktau.</div>
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will be doing my dresses fittings next weekend. weee~~. can't wait to see how my dresses look like. i trust my designer and so far, she has been giving me good service. alhamdulillah for that. mandi bunga/spa-ing appointment on 16th. doorgifts decorations to be finalised, diy mini pelamin/hantaran deco items to be bought, final meetings with the family for the event and small2 things that just need to be completed. and oh, nikah registrations! and all the pindah2 barang to the new home. march is gonna be a busy month but alhamdulillah everything smooth so far. hope everything dipermudahkan. aminnn!</div>
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anyway, another #theusualsttdi clan got married. congratulations puchi and adam! may u both have a happy marriage until jannah. :)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNPSsBB3z9Tjczm54c6k9l87juc0WI2JQu-8ELmHcEd96UPMdRWP2RuN26W_NFcuIUh3WBbAx9TzUSxGsnKAbvGRIkU1Hin3jupJmOdXFyrItCXQ11tzEyM_JMkTfCj1fFBe5ScPoi6U4/s1600/puchiadam2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNPSsBB3z9Tjczm54c6k9l87juc0WI2JQu-8ELmHcEd96UPMdRWP2RuN26W_NFcuIUh3WBbAx9TzUSxGsnKAbvGRIkU1Hin3jupJmOdXFyrItCXQ11tzEyM_JMkTfCj1fFBe5ScPoi6U4/s320/puchiadam2.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpWKFICY4x14PdIeP-2miAiJtBuD6Gdju07dlQm3zTVklw0KKEVgLQ5QLvFqXnVUWvhPKdaNWma_BLG2HoCfS8c-4thV6eORHqeGog_mzIdHJsIZJ2oLvsyiRaQB9v2jrlmzI4j14ug04/s1600/puchiadam3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpWKFICY4x14PdIeP-2miAiJtBuD6Gdju07dlQm3zTVklw0KKEVgLQ5QLvFqXnVUWvhPKdaNWma_BLG2HoCfS8c-4thV6eORHqeGog_mzIdHJsIZJ2oLvsyiRaQB9v2jrlmzI4j14ug04/s320/puchiadam3.jpg" width="320" /></a> </div>
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p/s: #theusualsttdi members just got bigger and bigger. soon, we're gonna need the whole restaurant booked for our usual gathering. lols.</div>
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Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-47998637843643508232013-02-13T21:34:00.000-08:002013-02-13T21:34:55.798-08:00worriers.<div style="text-align: justify;">
being a researcher, i developed a big habit of making google my bestfriend. everything that i don't understand or i'm curious about, i will google it and amazingly there will be answers! i believe everything must be based on facts. i googled like literally EVERYTHING. </div>
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so since i have this chronic attitude of worrying too much (like really really too much sometimes!), i googled if these symptoms is some kind of sickness which could make my life worse.<br />
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and so these are the terms that i found: <b>worrier</b> and <b>anxiety disorder.</b><br />
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turns out i'm not the only one. yeay!<br />
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check out these links if you have same symptoms as i have :P<br />
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<a href="http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/9-steps-to-end-chronic-worrying">9-steps-to-end-chronic-worrying</a><br />
<a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001915/">generalized anxiety disorder</a><br />
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some of the points:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">'</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">Worriers tend to be overutilizers of the health care system, meaning they see their doctor for just about every ache and </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; outline: none; text-decoration: initial;"><a href="http://www.webmd.com/pain-management/default.htm" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; outline: none; text-decoration: initial;"><span style="color: black;">pain</span></a><span style="color: #444444;">' (haha this is so true!)</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; outline: none; text-decoration: initial;"><span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; outline: none; text-decoration: initial;"><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; line-height: 17px;">"Most people with the disorder report that they have been anxious for as long as they can remember. GAD occurs somewhat more often in women than in men" (u-huh)</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; outline: none; text-decoration: initial;"><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; outline: none; text-decoration: initial;"><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif; line-height: 17px;">"Even when aware that their worries or fears are stronger than needed, a person with GAD still has difficulty controlling them" (u-huh)</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; outline: none; text-decoration: initial;"><span style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; outline: none; text-decoration: initial;">"Each individual needs to understand what causes their anxiety or what it is related to," "If you dig deep enough and go back to the early bases, it goes away because you have gotten to its roots."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; outline: none; text-decoration: initial;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; outline: none; text-decoration: initial;">and the statement that i love the most:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; outline: none; text-decoration: initial;">"Worriers are actually good at handling real problems."</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; outline: none; text-decoration: initial;">a-ha!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px; outline: none; text-decoration: initial;">so it's not really a bad thing right? :p</span><br />
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<br />Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-38822299086529407862013-01-31T22:18:00.000-08:002013-01-31T22:18:04.058-08:00manusia.i'm the kind of person who hates to hate ppl. (get it?)<br />
<br />
like tak payah la nk benci benci sgt. musuh-musuh sgt.<br />
<br />
i believe everyone has their own kind of behaviour whether it's good or bad. it all depends on how they were brought up , their experiences and their surroundings or their circle of friends/ppl. tak boleh nk judge sangat. manusia mcm2 ragam yg kadang-kadang tak masuk akal. drives you crazy but i guess at the end of the day, kena belajar accept.<br />
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tapi kalau dah org constantly buat something bad kat kt, tak tahan jugak wei.<br />
<br />
i'm the type yg susah sangat nk marah or kecik hati, but once someone pissed me off, susah nak lupa & let go. i can forgive but it's hard to forget.<br />
<br />
like once when i'm in uni during my degree years, i was pissed off at this one guy and i started blurt out every single word yang tak baik dlm dunia ni (over) because i was just really really angry. i remember saying 'saya tak halalkan smue rezeki awak'. and then i never talk to him ever again.<br />
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like my ex-bf trying to make friends with me back, i couldn't do it because i can still remember the bad things he has done to me. so i never talk to him ever again too.<br />
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tapi bila jadi bende-bende mcm ni. i always remember the saying ' kesalahan sesama manusia ni manusia je yg boleh ampunkan'. can u imagine dying and then susah mati sbb mak tak ampunkan dosa anak. (ok ni pengaruh drama spektra).<br />
<br />
u know what i mean.<br />
<br />
'biar org buat kita, jgn kita buat org'<br />
<br />
oh well. i guess we all make mistakes.<br />
<br />
but...<br />
<br />
i'm still contemplating whether to invite this one person to my wedding or not because i'm still annoyed.<br />
<br />
k bye.<br />
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<br />Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-33703247174982237582013-01-26T18:57:00.000-08:002013-01-26T18:57:04.354-08:00the power of social media. <br />
a lot of social media sites nowadays. facebook, twitter, instagram, pinterest, myspace, tumblr. macam2 lagi lah. you name it.<br />
<br />
it all has become a big part of our lives. paling utama facebook. like you almost cannot NOT have it.<br />
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although it's fun to interact with ppl and it somehow brings ppl together but it's getting scarier and scarier.<br />
<br />
we often make them as a way to let go of our feelings. luahan perasaan. sometimes 'attention-seeker'-ish. especially kalau kat twitter tu. womens especially. macam2 complain and luahkan. perempuan kan. mmg dh naluri suka luahkan perasaan & wants a lil bit of attention.<br />
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that includes me.<br />
<br />
i always remind myself 'kalau emosi jangan post anything on media'. but sometimes i failed.<br />
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after dh posted something, hours after that, i realize, oh shoot, did i just mention my problems to the whole world?<br />
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a few times dah i feel like i should shut down from all the social media. tenang sikit. but it's not easy. see how it already becomes part of our lives? sad but true.<br />
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seriously kdg2 tengok post org, gambar org, mesti ada perasaan envy, menyampah, annoyed, and punca segala pe-menyumpat-an. true right?<br />
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but we have to admit it. it's the way we're updated with our friends and families activities nowadays. at least we know this friend just delivered a baby. this friend just celebrated his/her graduation and so on.<br />
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nevertheless, i still love them because it helps us to share informations and most important, shopping!<br />
<br />
lol<br />
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we're updated with all these new clothes or shawls or any items then immediately nak beli. so dangerous but i'm addicted to online shopping already. :)<br />
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i think that's one of the reason why it's holding me back from shutting down from the social media. boleh?<br />
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<br />Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-25737561560194337132013-01-02T22:15:00.002-08:002013-01-02T22:15:43.739-08:00happy new year!<div style="text-align: justify;">
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It's 2013 already!</div>
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Time flies so fast. 2012 has been challenging for me. I've gone through difficult situations. I can say that i suffer from a very mild depression. Not many people understand this but i'm still thankful to have people close to me especially my soon to be husband bcuz he's very understanding and supportive. I dont know what would i do without him. </div>
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But all those things really teaches me to be more patience and bersyukur. It's hard but it's a damn good lesson. Everything happens for a reason huh?</div>
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Hoping for a better year this year and looking fwd for march! ;)<br />
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Happy new year folks!Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-41371110487904396692012-12-25T22:16:00.000-08:002012-12-25T22:16:38.459-08:00of studies, wedding and just accepting things the way they are.<div style="text-align: justify;">
when i registered for masters, the seniors already warned me that if i work under my supervisor, my masters will be 4 years. right to the maximum limit. to the point where u can't extend anymore.</div>
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i didn't really believe them and i thought to myself, i can beat that. i can finish on time. or at least, extend for just the thesis writings.</div>
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i was definitely wrong. </div>
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my supervisor is a very very particular person. dalam erti kata lain, CEREWET. it's so hard to puaskan hati dia and it's driving me crazy!</div>
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for those of you yg tak pernah jadi postgraduate student, the moment when your supervisor said 'you can graduate now' is moment yg paling bahagia and paling susah sgt nk dgr. it's usually hard for supervisors to let their students go. and from what i've heard, supervisors who are graduates from US are the most difficult ones (because they had difficult times in the US) and my supervisor is one of them. big sigh!</div>
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i'm so tired when ppl keep asking me when will i finish, because the truth is, i don't know!</div>
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only GOD knows how many times i wanted to quit and move on. it's just too depressing. i dont wanna be sad and stress all the time. </div>
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well i guess the only way is to just to accept. accept that i won't finish at the targeted time (i target on march 2013 then i'll be married and free!), accept that no matter what, it'll be worth it the end. insyaallah!</div>
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on another note, it's 3 months until the big day and i'm already feeling the excitement! :) and nervous at the same time. </div>
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alhamdulillah so far preparation was smooth. me and syib had done the preparation slowly so we wont get stuck with last minute things. </div>
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but of course, it gets annoying when family members have different opinions with what you have in mind. from the beginning, when we got the date, i already thought to myself, i'm just gonna accept whatever it is that they want and not be stressed out about unnecessary things. i already know that i'm not gonna have my dream wedding anyway. and what's important is the marriage. alhamdulillah so far everything works fine, i accepted whatever my parents want and they accepted what i want. </div>
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so far.</div>
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there'll be a meeting with the extended family this weekend and i'm nervous about that. i'm sure there'll be some clashing of opinions here and there. and with my father's side of family, i always gets really annoyed with them.(oops). i know it's not nice to feel that way too. oh well. </div>
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syib is gonna have a meeting with his extended family too. he's all like 'cakap ok je, takyah pressure2, janji kahwin'. yeah i hope i will do that. </div>
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anway, bought the ring yesterday! can't wait to wear it yeay! i'm not into jewelleries and all the expensive ones. so we got a very nice simple ring just enough for me. i love it because it looks so feminine on me. tee hee. :)</div>
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so far everything necessary booked. things to be finalized are cards and doorgifts. after that we're gonna have to pening kepala buying things for our new home. we've decided to stay at my dad's kondo at sungai besi. </div>
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so there's two things i'm looking fwd to for 2013 (the same month too), to at least finish my labworks for my masters and to be start a new life with my other half.</div>
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and one thing i learned is to accept things the way they are then i'll be at peace. even if you dont achieve what you hope for. it's not easy but i won't stop trying. </div>
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hope everything runs smoothly. insyaallah! praying for the best. :)</div>
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<br />Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-49464113947373039092012-11-28T23:15:00.000-08:002012-11-28T23:15:09.833-08:00my kind of music.<br />
my favourite acoustic band. used to watch them almost every week at danga bay, jb when i studied in johor.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/VCb1AnjLl1g" width="420"></iframe><br />
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<br />Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-17200661668997443342012-11-25T23:20:00.000-08:002012-11-25T23:21:07.323-08:00back to the future.been thinking a lot about future lately. exciting yet scary at the same time.<br />
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since i'm so determined to finish my masters this semester (which should be end by march but depends on my crazy lecturer who always wants everything perfect and torture me with unnecessary jobs -__-), i'm starting to think of what kind of work/job should i do after that. having experience being in r&d industry and product development area for few years now, i learned a lot. one thing i learn is that apparently science is not important to business people. all they want is profit profit profit. fast fast fast. and it annoys me. hellooo, we're the scientist, we know when will the products be actually safe for the market and what kind of things should be added to improve. </div>
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so yeah, i love r &d and product development and well just basically working in the lab. But, i don't like the nature of the work. it's depressing. i know it's probably the same thing for all companies who wants to make profit, but whatever. In terms of gaining experience, no problem with me. </div>
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and then there's this sudden interest in me who wants to be a lecturer. i don't know why. i don't know how to teach but i just feel that all the 'ilmu' that i've got should be passed on to people. and i got a feeling that it's less depressing. i thinkkk lahhh.</div>
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with me getting married and all, of course i already started to think of marriage life. i think every woman would wanna cook for their husband, looks nice, getting pregnant, have kids etc. with all these in mind, how can i be in a profesional world and then going back home trying to do all this? almost impossible.</div>
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and so when i stumbled upon this <a href="http://www.themotherhuddle.com/">blog</a> , i thought to myself 'bestnyaaa jadi surirumah ni'. tak payah stress2 dgn boss or difficult people at work or due dates and whatever. this mother do a lot of experimenting at home, cooking, crafting, and making home made cosmetics/personal care! haha this one i'm so excited. i've always wanted to do my own soap and all tapi takde time. already berangan making my own body scrubs and sell them at bazaars. plus that would be an application of what i learn for my masters. (seriously sbnrnya sgt scary beli products kat luar tu, try to buy products as natural as possible k?) always wanted my own business tapi tak pandai business and dont know what to sell and where to start. maybe someday i'll start one so i can be more at home and spending time with my family. cewah berangan over!</div>
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berangan pun berangan jugak. but the thing is, money is still so important. no matter what, still have to find ways to have an income or extra income. mr fiance is not really strict of what i wanna be. he just wants me to do something that i'm happy about. </div>
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oh well enough rambling. manusia merancang je kan. let's just wait and see what my future will be like. </div>
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wish me luck! :)</div>
Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-90027081607573053372012-11-19T19:01:00.000-08:002012-11-19T19:01:57.995-08:00si spastik<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
last weekend, my cousin aizat got married!</div>
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sungguh tak percaya. </div>
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it was a very simple yet meriah wedding. (meriah sebab kepochi punya cousins hahaha.) </div>
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shani, the bride just borrowed her baju kurung, shawl and veil from her friend. her make up and inai was done by my sis in law. no bilik pengantin whatsoever. </div>
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simple gila kan? i wonder if i can do like that. but i dont think my other side of the family will approve. -__-</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-M_3H2BnMFYJ9gLGawxTANrfStHesFrlL4zFXHBgGGke6D3Mpaf_7l4zYBCTGNu74YTJLVHtb4fpi1jou02lD8WXmVD06MX-FaUvZ7l656b2TAT9IaYocYikSlYVI5XRyPQqdpJy37PA/s1600/IMG_20121117_114218.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-M_3H2BnMFYJ9gLGawxTANrfStHesFrlL4zFXHBgGGke6D3Mpaf_7l4zYBCTGNu74YTJLVHtb4fpi1jou02lD8WXmVD06MX-FaUvZ7l656b2TAT9IaYocYikSlYVI5XRyPQqdpJy37PA/s320/IMG_20121117_114218.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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the bride and groom. awww so sweet! aizat cannot duduk diam and be serious. even with the tok kadi, he just can't stop making funny faces. lol. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWRqEp75QzTnm2YdIApI5V8nf-JF_NATnsIsQmnUfnQsOf5EYDCucWm4H7x6j-YhlqL51b7UvFiQoMeWVBY3RKjIj5GI8tHY2NUfCD_TLXVlQFijkKXr3UPYnbHDtvPycQI4fopY6DCgc/s1600/IMG_20121117_133128.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWRqEp75QzTnm2YdIApI5V8nf-JF_NATnsIsQmnUfnQsOf5EYDCucWm4H7x6j-YhlqL51b7UvFiQoMeWVBY3RKjIj5GI8tHY2NUfCD_TLXVlQFijkKXr3UPYnbHDtvPycQI4fopY6DCgc/s320/IMG_20121117_133128.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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the sweet pelamin. DIY by the pengantin themselves. the bunga pahar was done by my auntie, the mother of the groom. in fact all the gifts was done by her (with the help of us the family members of course).</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRvXB0u31zeftJC-emaiMtkU7lY3ygBb25svpwFxSaBQK7ecEy3q83_07u3C6o68xWjP7zqaZBzqi5r1B7pr3b0vcjV5NBJRbg80TcdSjk83X5KrJX0IjHNnM1_vNl6PgaZjZSYsPZieI/s1600/IMG-20121117-WA0019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRvXB0u31zeftJC-emaiMtkU7lY3ygBb25svpwFxSaBQK7ecEy3q83_07u3C6o68xWjP7zqaZBzqi5r1B7pr3b0vcjV5NBJRbg80TcdSjk83X5KrJX0IjHNnM1_vNl6PgaZjZSYsPZieI/s320/IMG-20121117-WA0019.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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and the most exciting part, taking pictures! </div>
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the most happening cousins i have. </div>
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they're leaving maldives today. they're gonna have the bride's reception this week. some of us are going, some of us are not. but according to plan, aizat's gonna migrate and live in maldives with her wife.</div>
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aww we're gonna miss u!</div>
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no more photographer of the family. :P</div>
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Semoga berbahagia aizat and shani. May u guys have a happy marriage till the end. Amin. </div>
<br />Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-8157951688649543762012-11-12T21:31:00.000-08:002012-11-12T21:31:01.558-08:002 years!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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today, 13 november 2012, marks 2 years of being engaged to syib! </div>
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known each other for 3 years plus. i gotta say i'm so proud of myself for being able to tahan him and all the ups and downs in our relationship. i've never been in a relationship more than a year wei. setahun pn tak sampai i think.</div>
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and being engaged is a lot different than just being boyfriend and girlfriend. banyaaaak sgt dugaannya. </div>
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4 months to go till we become husband and wife. here's hoping for many many happy years ahead together. insyaallah. :)</div>
Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-50608700057147681052012-10-31T23:20:00.000-07:002012-10-31T23:20:10.401-07:00read. i think i lost my interest in reading because of android. lol.<br />
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i used to read books at night before i sleep but since ade samsung s2 ni, duk explore phone je. playing games and watching youtubes. and i love instagram! wakaka lagging.<br />
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but i still have a few books yet to be read. currently reading anne frank which i recently bought at a sale at uptown. itu pun kene force.<br />
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i used to like reading books a lot. especially self-help books and fiction books based in different countries. macam best baca life/culture tempat lain. it opened your mind. plus, it's my way of travelling without spending. lol.<br />
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oh no. what happened to my hobby lah?Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-50148085942336501792012-10-23T02:42:00.001-07:002012-10-23T02:42:34.365-07:00marriage and baby<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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19th october 2012. </div>
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one of closest friends, shaz got married to his sweetheart, amelia. they both make a handsome and pretty couple. the nikah was held at masjid bndr sri damansara which is sooo cantik. fell in love with the architecture and deco. then the next day was amelia's side of reception at dewan perdana felda. it was a beautiful night. </div>
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on the same night, my good friend, eika gave birth to baby boy named Aariq Iman. He's the cutest! when me and teha came to visit at the hospital, he opened his eyes so wide looking very curiously at us. and very active too! penat tok mama die nk bedung die tak duduk diam. we girls in the gang was very excited and nervous for eika and rico. proud parents they are. </div>
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congratulations to shaz & melia as well as eika & rico for their new journey of life. can't wait to be married and have kids too! teehee. </div>
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oh and congrats to my good friend too who just found out she's pregnant. yeay!</div>
Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-31106903724583365092012-09-29T19:47:00.003-07:002012-09-29T19:47:54.022-07:00this!<div><p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SklWzVZpmJ8&feature=youtube_gdata_player">Watch "an Interview with Daphne Iking" on YouTube</a><br>
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</div>Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-24696885463615438132012-09-17T23:45:00.004-07:002012-09-17T23:45:49.581-07:00let's change the mood<div style="text-align: justify;">
a lot of negativity lately. rasa macam this year is a tough year for me. had a hard time trying to be positive. after what had happened, i sort of like lost my confidence and i feel terrified for my future. keep thinking what will happen, what if this, what if that. i think too much i know. </div>
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and me being a person who likes to express herself, i think i annoyed ppl with a lot of my tweets and fb. sometimes i feel like i just wanna shut down from social media because i know i will keep malukan diri sndiri and maybe make ppl feel disturbed. kdg2 cepat je terasa hati with ppl around cuz i imagine they're saying things in a judgemental way when really it's just my feeling. </div>
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worst is when i'm in my period. ya allah mood swings macam orang gila! </div>
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i know i chose to be that. to be negative. when really i can just look at a more positive side of everything. </div>
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i blame syib for everything before. tak puas hati je mesti nk rasa he brings me into all this. it's all his fault. then i luahkan to my friends. and then i feel guilty because it's as if i memburukkan my future husband. bila sedih/marah, memang x fikir dah bende2 baik. </div>
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syib is being so nice actually. sure ppl make mistakes but i'm so lucky to have him because he's so patient with me and sanggup lah layan kerenah perempuan gila yang tah pape ni. i'm thankful because his sengal-ness always make me laugh and be happy again. this 2 years of being engaged really teaches us a lot about everything. </div>
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work/studies wise pun not so good. klau dikirekan, end of this year marks 3 years i'm doing my masters. dah mcm phd wei! so depressing to see your colleague who starts after you, finish first. i'm targeting and hope i can finish my labwork by end of this year. really hope i could settle the main work before i get married early next year. i wanna move on and start new. tapi just so happen that i got a difficult supervisor yang so perfectionist & sgt susah untuk lepaskan students. sighhh. oh well, i guess i just hv to work harder and try to accept her the way she is. tp mmg frustrated cuz there's no way out. semoga tak kene buli lagilah. aminnn!</div>
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i realize life's just too short to just be sad all the time. i wanna be happy and just enjoy the moment right now. </div>
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p/s: i wanna start swimming again, and learn to cook and make soap and learn to sew. i need to have activities so i can take off my mind on unnecessary things. byknya nk buat tp sorg2 mesti hangat2 tahi ayam je. hopefully tak. who wants to join me? :)</div>
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<br />Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-47868824331192377492012-08-30T01:41:00.001-07:002012-08-30T01:41:35.689-07:00raya 2012hey hey selamat hari raya! maaf zahir batin.<br />
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my raya was oh-kaayyy. went back to kedah as usual visited istana and relatives. my sis in law tagged along this year. it was a bit more fun when she's around. kepoh! and she was all oh so excited going to the istana and makam taking pictures everywhere. hehe first time katakan. kinda make me realize that next year my raya will be different. there's a possibility that i might not beraya-ing with my family on 1st day raya but let 's just see how it will be. </div>
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anyway kalau ade open house silalah invite. a lot of people saying i dah kurus now. saaad. i don't like being so thin. hopefully this raya will gain a lil bit of my weight back hehe. till then, enjoy some of the pics!</div>
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siblings and sis in law and err lil nephew</div>
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kak intan the cousin and her lil boy</div>
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sis in law</div>
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little rascals! (nieces and nephew)</div>
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qistina</div>
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official family pic :)</div>
Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6015080400198689796.post-28029597275672940822012-08-11T00:14:00.002-07:002012-08-11T00:14:35.423-07:00don't judge.<br />
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when i read about the 'batman shooter' and found out that he's a phd student, first thing come to mind is that i can sooo feel him. not that i agree on him shooting and killing people, but i can understand how he could be..well like they say, mental illness. </div>
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when you are so depressed and caught up with your emotions and lost control of it, it leads you to stupid things. i honestly have felt that (not to the point of killing lah). alhamdulillah, i believe we as muslims are prevented from that because we pray 5 times a day. that short 5 minutes every prayer brings you back to your senses. that's why solat is so important. </div>
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most of the time people dont take this people seriously. sebab tu kdg2 depa ni rasa nobody listens to them or care about them. worse, they often judge. selalunya dieorg akan kata things like 'alah tu pun nk emo'. 'biasalah org lain pun stress'. see sometimes if you dont know what's going on, try to actually be more concern rather than saying things that could actually bring him/her down. eh macam talking about myself pulak.</div>
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yes i do feel like that sometimes. especially when i'm in that time of the month. depressed tahap dewa. siap google psychiatrists. i even asked my friend who is a psychology student. she said its ok to seek help, tak bermakna kita gila. society yang fikir mcm tu. kdg2 masalah tu kecik je. tapi kalau dibiarkan boleh jadi serious. i totally agree with her. </div>
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my #gedz are the best. they're like my sisters already. pantang tweet pelik2 they immediately ask what's wrong and be concern. no matter how messed up i am, they're there to support me. luckily i have syib too. he often buat me fikir logik balik when i'm too caught up with negative emotions. </div>
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why am i wiritng about this again? </div>
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i guess what i'm trying to say is, don't judge but try to understand the situation. we may never know what the person is experiencing. or how dia dibesarkan, things like that. jangan cepat nk buruk sangka. </div>
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i myself has been trying to improve myself. although mmg susah sgt nk berubah to be better. but i guess niat tu penting. i learn to be more bersyukur and sabar and bersangka baik. bulan ramadhan ni, syaitan takde. so we know that whatever bad things we do is what we have become. saaad kan? teruk rasa diri ini. </div>
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to friends/families reading this, i apologize if i ever said bad things or annoyed all of you. let's try to be better shall we? moga Allah beri kekuatan. amin!</div>Hanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03304779671205772944noreply@blogger.com2