Wishing u all Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Hana mintak ampun dan maaf zahir batin. Kalau ade yg tersalah kata, terguris hati yang tak sengaja, maafkanlah ye. Ppl make mistakes rite? I'll be raya-ing at kedah for the 1st day of raya. Will be going tomorrow morning. i'll be back here in KL 2nd day of raya. till then, enjoy!!

teh o ais crew!

after so long tak get together, the teh o ais crew finally meet up again. we had dinner/buka puasa at Italliannies@1 utama. we actually celebrated fadhilah's birthday too. happy birthday krok2! too bad eira is not around. the crew is not complete.

terkenang balik zaman matrik when we used to hang out with each other. ke mane2 pun berenam. susah senang bersama.(eceh!)we often order teh o ais when we hang out and that's how we got the title. haha. till we meet again!

moving on

how i wish life would be simple. mcm vending machine. usha2, tekan ape nak, terus dapat. easy huh? but reailitinye life's not like that. life is a gamble. we dont know what will happen. and we dont always get what we want. Tuhan yg menentukan. we have to face it no matter what.

what happened between me and 'him' is like what my fren said, 'minor heartbroken'. although mcm tak puas hati but i feel happy and glad that he's very profesional and we're still good frens like normal. i must say i was worried about the ackwardness that could've happen. turns out no ackwardness at all. i'm glad. :)

but despite still having good friendship with him and trying to throw the feelngs away, watching him constantly sms-ing and smiling (probably with his secret gf) make me sooo jelous. mcm nk pegi ckp "why dont u choose me?!". but nah, i wont do that. and my fellow cliques yg tak membantu jugak.

"kejap je pinjam 'abang' hang"

"pegilah teman 'abang' ko.."

i just keep quiet, thinking "oh how i wish he could be my 'abang'."

*sigh*

at least i still have him as a good fren. i feel happy. i'm glad i let him know. now i can just move on. back to 'hunting'!


maybe i should go after my dearest Brandon Boyd. LOL.

emo

i thought he could be the one. i thought he could replace my mum. whenever i think of my mum, i think of him too.

well, we dont always get what we want rite?

at least now i know the truth. i dont have to wonder anymore. it's over. finally.

i'll move on.

the night

Malam Lailatulkadar bermula malam ke 21
malam nya terang, damai, tidak terlalu sejuk/panas
matahari tak terik kerana dilindungi sayap malaikat (malaikat mempunyai 12,000 sayap)
malaikat seramai 70,000 akan memasuki rumah
Jibril akan masuk ke rumah dan memberi salam serta menyentuh orang yang sedang beribadat

Tanda tubuh disentuh jibril:
tubuh badan merasa gementar
tiba-tiba rasa shahdu dan tenang
tanpa disedari berlinang air mata


Keistimewaan lain yang berlaku pada malam Lailatul Qadar dinyatakan dalam ayat 4 yang menjelaskan bahawa malaikat dan roh turun pada malam itu dengan keizinan Tuhan. Yang dimaksudkan dengan `roh' ialah malaikat Jibrail dan ini pendapat jumhur ulama. Ia disebut secara khusus kerana kemuliannya. Ada pendapat lain menyatakan nabi Isa a.s turun untuk melihat umat dan menziarahi nabi Muhammas s.a.w. Ada juga pendapat menyatakan roh-roh orang yang mukmin turun untuk menziarahi keluarga-keluarga mereka. Ada pendapat satu lagi mentafsirkan kepada `Rahmat dari Allah.


I went for teraweh just now and suddenly rase sebak and i cried. somehow i feel like my mum is around. wallahualam.

tired.

i'm tired.

i wish things could be simple. macam budak2 dulu. nothing is complicated. straight forward.

ketakutan utk rase kehilangan is killing me. i'm not like this before. maybe because i just lost my mum. it's holding me back.

i have to be strong. come on hana. it is simple. u make it hard on yourself.

aja aja fighting!

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose

- Sarah Mclachlan

mama

i so need u rite now. but u're not here.

i can only share my problems with u. some i cannot share it with my frens or any other person cuz u're the only one who will understand. no matter what it is, u'll listen and u'll comfort me. i need that comfort. i need it so much.

i miss u so much mama. i wish u're still here with me.

i am so happy today. i can't stop smiling. :)