single?

seems like everyone at my workplace can't beleive that i'm still single. haha. susah sgt ke nk percaye? they keep asking "betul ke takde pakwe?","knape takde pakwe?","tipu la takde pakwe..","biar betul takde pakwe?..". haih penat den nk menjawabnye. dah bosan dah ngn soalan2 nie.

yes i'm single. and available. LOL.

knowing the fact that i'm single, everyone dah bg assumptions that maybe i'm a bit 'memilih' or 'jual mahal' or stuff like that. i'm not any of that. am i?

a few weeks ago, my ex-boyfren called and asked if i could give him a second chance. he's been flirting with me before that but i just 'layan' him just like a friend. he asked me out a couple of times (actually banyak kali jugak la) but i always said NO and gave him plenty of excuses(sorry beb!). so that night, he called and confessed that what he did to me when we were together was wrong and that he have changed. i actually beleive that he have changed. he sounded like he's a different person now. but his feelings towards me and his sincerity is not convincing enough for me. i don't trust him anymore. i guess i can forgive but i cannot forget. and i don't wanna fall for him again. that's why i keep ignoring him before. its because i dont wanna let myself fall for him again. i dont wanna be with him again.

so is that called 'jual mahal' or what? i don't think so. i think i'm doing a right thing for myself.

i think i've learn a lot from my experiences in relationships. what to do, what not to do. i've been hurt and i did hurt someone before. that particular someone is also one of my closest frens. i wish i could have that special feeling for him as much as he did at that time but it's not there. and i keep falling for the wrong guys. haih! seeing him with his girlfriend of 4 years, i know that he's very very happy. and i'm so happy for him. i wish i could be as happy as he is.

GOD don't give us the people that we want. Instead, GOD give us the people that we need.

GOd make us meet a few wrong people before we finally meet the right one.