acceptance

last weekend i had a mamak-ing session with my sis-in-law. yeap just the two of us. my brother fell asleep while waiting for her to finish her work. lol.

anyway, it's nice to have that conversation with her. first time after a while, i had someone to talk to about things that i felt uncomfortable talking to other ppl. kind of sisterly talk kinda thing, whatever that means. i never had a sister so yeah.

we talked maturely about family issues mostly. like how there are times that me & my brothers felt a lil bit hard to accept the new 'mum'. not that she's bad or anything but maybe it's still new and we're trying to adapt to changes.

my dad has always been the kind of person who is not so sensitive, not good in communicating with us that at times we felt frustrated. but considering the way my dad had been brought up (without a father & without a real close family rltnship), it's understandable. Dad has always been in boarding schools and all so he grows up independently without proper family bonding.

i didn't like to tell a lot about this to ppl. cuz i know ppl will tend to judge my father and i don't like that. only we the siblings can judge him because we know him better. or at least i know him better. my brothers mmg x pernah nk amik pedulik. communicate pn susah. so don't ask them. lol.

i know ppl keep asking me if i'm okey that it becomes annoying now. stop that already!

anyway so the talk comes to the frustration of not getting married soon and all, stress of my studies (tht i have to change my scope), travelling experience, our dreams and so on. sad and happy.

i learn something. if i cannot accept things now the way they are, i surely cannot move forward. and i surely cannot be happy with what i have now.

and i have to learn to control my emotions because i suck at it.

so in the hope of finishing my masters this year, get a job, get married, hv kids and getting a happy family, let's have that positive vibe on! insyaallah.

p/s: no idea what's the objective of this post. just for the sake of updating. lols!