still going strong.

i know i have been complaining a lot about getting married and everything related to it. i somehow realized i may have made myself look so pathetic and as if i'm desperate to be married. rasa macam dh malukan diri sendiri for the past year of being engaged. i'm sure a lot of ppl have been judging me.

'relax lah. it's not the end of the world.' some may say.

i always ask myself 'kenapa nak rasa mcm ni', 'kenapa nk stress sgt tak kawin lg','kenapa nk cepat sgt'.

tak fahamlah. but still the feeling comes and goes. 

talked to a friend about this and i'm so glad that she gave me her honest opinion. she thinks that i was not supposed to be engaged when i did because it gives a lot of pressure to me, syib and both our families. she thinks that we should be engaged when we are really ready especially on the financial side. that's why i myself am so pressured. because i myself has been so excited about it and telling people about it, and dreaming of what kinda wedding will i have etc. i already put my hope on it so when a lot of times it has been delayed and then friends getting married before me, i felt frustrated because i think i should be the bride.

i think what she said is really true and i totally agree with her. that's why i have that feeling. i know not many ppl understand the situation. bila dh bertunang ni, dh involve family, bila dh involve family, of course the pressure is on them too. and yeah byk masalah timbul. org selalu kata jgn tunang lama-lama, tunang ni byk dugaan. i myself before this tak percaya sgt cuz i thought alaa kalau tak bertunang pun ada dugaan jugak. bila dh rasa sendiri baru tahu. so people, jangan bertunang lama-lama. :p

anyway, can't look back now. people make mistakes. maybe ada hikmahnya. bila org keep on asking, they will keep praying for us. so i guess that's a good thing right?

i think me & syib too had learn a lot about each other these past few years. we've know each other for like 3 years now. been engaged for 1 year and a half. alhamdulillah still going strong. i think this experience matures me and makes our relationship better and more importantly prepare ourself for marriage life. we learned how to communicate and solve things and undersand each other. i think God has better plans for us, He knows when's the right time for us. i think if we ever did get married a year ago, we probably wouldn't be as matured as now. entah2 got problems when we're married. so yeah everything happens for a reason huh? mungkin ada orang yg kahwin awal but they have problems after married, maybe we have problems now to prepare ourself for a better marriage. insyaallah. amin.

kadang-kadang bila fikir, rasa macam susahnya la hai nk kawin in this life we live in. padahal kalau ikut hukum tu senang je. when i'm faced with all the dugaan, i felt annoyed with the adat and the rules. why do we need hantarans anyway? and then lelaki yg susah to carik duit ribu2 to kahwin? and then the hantarans should be this and that. tak boleh itu ini. weddings should be like this and that. it's so annoying. i'm just tired of all this kind of pressure. oh well. apapepun, have to face it anyway. tak follow nanti kata org muda ni tak ikut adat pulak.

from now on, i'm gonna try focusing more on preparing for the life after marriage than the wedding itself. a lot of ppl forget about this. too focus and excited about the wedding but forget to prepare on life after that. it's more exciting actually to share that with syib about the future. weddings just gives ppl headache. i've experience this with my friends' weddings and my brother's wedding. i know what to expect now. so let's just keep it simple and prepare on the marriage itself.

eh panjang pulak membebel. bottom line is, i wanna be a good wife to syib. i wanna be married so i can feel more complete, more organized, lebih tenang. sure peer pressure influences us, but that's not the reason why we wanna get married. we are so in love with each other and we already know from the beginning that we wanna spend the rest of my life with each other. insyaallah.

pls don't stop pray for us. part of me just wanna get over it cuz that way, everyone will be happy. :)

p/s: sapa yang experience bende sama faham lah. :P

btw just wanna share this video with u olls on 'kesan heboh pertunangan'. a reminder for me and you. bila dah rasa baru faham ade sebab kenapa bertunang tak patut dihebohkan. indah kan islam ni. every rules in islam ada hikmahnya.