luahan hati..

2day i'm not working.

not because i'm sick but because i dont wanna go to work. bolela dikatakan sakit jugak. sakit emotionally. stress. i wanna quit my job because i just can't do it. but i keep thinking nnti ape org pkir. i'll be like a loser. baru sebulan keje dh give up.

i'm waiting for the response from this other company. i really really hope i get that job. a chemist. my fren yg recommend to her boss. they mmg looking for a lady chemist. to accompany my fren cuz rite now she's the only girl. so i harap2 sgt dea call today,but tak call2 pun. if i get the job, at least alasan munasabah sket. ade better offer. but klu tak dpt pun, i think i still wanna quit. but tula, like i said, nnti mcm loser plak. tp klu hati dh tak kat keje tuh, camne?lagi down kang. haih. dlm dilema tul.

these past few days i feel so tertekan. nk crite pun xtau camne. i wanted to like meluahkan perasaan but dont know how. but i'll try here.

i always feel like i'm a loser. byk sgt kekurangan. so ble xleh wat something, i feel so down. mcm ape istimewanya aku nih?smue aku xleh wat. i'm blur, lembab, cepat lupe and sgt lurus. i guess it's bcuz i'm very the jujur person. i hate lies.

pastu slalu rase mcm xde org amik berat psl i. xde org concern. i want attention gak kot. nk perhatian org. nk ade org slalu bg support and motivation. maybe be4 this slalu ngadu masalah to my mum. and she'll be the one yg slalu ckp.."u can do it".., "i beleive in u".., and "saba la, kuatkan semangat, doa byk2". and ble dea ckp camtu, i feel cam..org lain pn beleive in me, why can't i do it?but now ble dea dh sakit, dea plak yg slalu ngadu. so the attention is all to her.nobody really knows how i feel.

same goes ngn kwn2. dlu ade la this one best fren.slalu ngadu masalah to her. she's like my sister. and she'll support me and bg kata2 semangat. but now, since dh ade pakwe, jarang sket la nk talk stuff like that. ade tuh ade but lain la sket.

so tula dea,i feel so alone. pakwe pun takde. haih.

so kesimpulan drp post nih, wa pun tatau. sekadar luahan hati je. :P