cuti.

esok cuti!

for 2 weeks :) (in a way la.)

going to sabah tuesday. balik kl on sunday. the next day pergi JB for the masters registration, stay there for a week.

lotsa things nk setel for the registration. leceh betul. penjamin la, saksi la, yuran kene byr online tanak cek la, setem hasil la, medical check up la, nak follow up for the grant application lagi. pastu aku plak buat last2 minute kan. pandaaaaai.

then after that, bermulalah perjuangan saya. semoga Allah always with me. ceh mcm nk pergi war je. tapi mcm war pun ape, research kot.

(hana, pls dont quit this time. this is what u want. follow ur heart.)

budak sunyi dan pari-parinya.

sumpahkan aku ke sana
hidup bersama
mati berdua

andaiku takdir di sini
rangkullah aku
peluklah aku

jangan kau puja
jangan kau hina
ikhlasku dan jujurku

jangan kau puja
jangan kau hina
ikhlasku dan jujurku

sempatkah aku ke sana
ku takut semua
hilang bernama

ambilku dan bawa lari
kerna ku takut
tiada lagi

hanya kerna cinta yang ini
aku berserah tinggi kepada-Mu

yang Maha Esa
ku butuh cinta dia

engkau yang Maha Esa
agungkan cinta ini

sumpahkan aku ke sana
hidup bersama
mati berdua

ambilku dan bawa lari
kerna ku takut
tiada lagi

jangan kau puja
jangan kau hina
ikhlasku dan jujurku

dan suatu hari nanti
akan tiba seorang
memuja cinta kamu
meminta hati kamu

rangkulkan hati itu
dan hulurkan pada Dia
tanya pada tuhan kamu
apakah dia untuk kamu?

-fynn jamal

live like u're dying.

so i got the offer letter already! weeee~~

now i' m officially accepted to Program Pengajian Siswazah Sem 2 Sesi 2009/2010. registration will be on the 8th of dec and then there will be briefings on subjects,library, regulations and whatsoever on 10th and 11th. i guess i'll be at JB for a week then. yeay! bole jumpe kwn2 gak kat sane. ruby, confirmla umah ko jd mangsa aku menumpang. lalala.

i'll still be continuing my work at the cepp branch@enstek. the office gonna pindah soon to kl but not thaaat soon. probably june. excited + takuuut feeling. but this time, it feels right.

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the family is planning to go to sabah 1st week of dec. one week maybe. and the plan is to go hiking up mount kinabalu! my dad tau yg ajak. 62 years old man, still wanna go hiking. the first question was ' larat ke papa?'. hahaha. aku ni mmg la excited je bab2 adventure ni. huhu. but plan je lebih, book nye ape pun tak lagi. my dad has a fren there yg gonna arrange for the hiking part and the accomodation as well kot. so kalau everything ok, jadi la kot.

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prayers for kak sara. baru dpt tau she got breast cancer. 50% recovery. cancer can just attack anyone huh? scaryyy. tak suke la penyakit taktau punca nih. tau tau je dh ade. camne nk prevent? haruslah jage kesihatan dr skrg ye kawan2. note to self jugak tu. haih.

i heard she's in US now doing treatment. chemoteraphy to be exact. just like my mum dulu. chemo chemo and chemo. urgh benci la chemo tu yg membunuh sbnrnye. chemicals!!

oh well. what to do. dh takdir. semoga k.sara sembuh. :)

live like u're dying and never stop trying
it's all you can do, use what's been given to you

Lenka

ba wau ra nge = boring.

this weekend is soo boring. tak brape nk ade aktiviti sgt la. and dgn keadaan yg berkeseorangan di rumah lagilah tak membantu kan. haih. papa, come back soon!

i was planning to go servis kete and basuh kete skali on saturday tapi in the end tak buat ape pun. pagi2 dh sibok basuh baju and kemas rumah everything pastu suddenly dpt call from One Utama, asking me to pick up the prize that i won for a contest which i dont even remember masuk pun. apparently i was the 7th prize winner for ntah ape punye contest ntah, dapatla OSIM's uPapa Massager which is quite cool tapi i dont think i'll be using it sangat sbb kuat gile ok. ni mengurut ke nk patahkan tulang orang? haha. so i guess bagi papa jela gune.

balik2 from OU, gitu gini pastu hujan. so tido la kejap. lps tu still hujan, so dh malas nk kluar and do anything. so i stay at home mengadap laptop main game. i was so bored i dont know what to do. plus i was agak marah with my brother so cam ah malas ah nk layan. dah down2 nangis2 ape smue so i went out to curve last night sorang2 do a little shopping. bought myself a bag and a blouse. huhu. shopping is a gooood therapy.

thought nk pegi tido umah my cousin sbb dh mcm tension duduk rumah, but then dh plan with hani and shira to go fish spa-ing at mid valley today morning (sunday) sbb ade coupon yg tk pakai2 lagi. and then sbb sangap we watched Pisau Cukur. funny movie. and the character Faqir is cuuutee. balik from mid valley, i'm still bored. ah bosannye duduk rumah yg sunyi sepi ni! pastu the bf lak busy and have so much to do with his family. hmmph. thank god fai and din ade, so we went lepak for a while at williams mkn chicken premium yum yum and ice blended mango longan. terbaaaik. (tetibe rase haus)

and tomorrow is working day already?! damnnn.

i wonder how my life would be bile dh buat masters. will it gonna be as hectic as i heard it would be? and i may not have time for my social life anymore? and the policy weekend means no work dh takleh pakai? damn. i hope i'll survive.

s**t la. boleh ke ni?

substitutes?

if you don't have the company of your parents anymore, you tighten your faith in God or tighten your relationship with your loved one and they will work as a substitute.-blogged by Liza.

oh that is so true!

at the end of the day, it all actually depends on ourselves to change the way things are and make us feel happy again.

when i lost my mum, i feel i have no one to turn to. the only thing i could do is to turn to God. i pray everyday that God would make me stronger. i took time to recite the quran or yassin every now and then after solat. at least once a week. i've tried to prevent myself from buat banyak dosa because i always think of arwah. dosa anak2 ditanggung mak bapak remember? kalau buat byk dosa, imagine how my mum would suffer dlm kubur. diseksa sbb dosa anak2. eiissh. and it's good to always sedekah ayat2 quran utk org yg dh takde. and that's how i learn and still learning to be better.

i was never really close to anyone of my relatives i guess. always berkepit with my mum. to them, i guess i look like a shy girl and very pendiam. padahal ngn memembe totally the opposite. after my mum passed away, no doubt i was lost. luckily my aunties selalu ambik berat and ask how i was doing. days after days, i became closer and closer to them. and my cousins too. even now, i think i'm getting closer to my dad's side of relatives. dulu i thought the formality in them yg make it a bit hard to be close. tapi alaa..sbnrnye diri sniri yg kene take action to make it work.

my relationship with my dad was never that close either. at times, adelah rase frust with my dad because he doesnt act like my mum (what?). expectations melampau ek. haha. but then, lame2 i feel much much closer to him. i understand that it's a struggle for him too to be a single parent. (kesedaran hasil dari tgk cite papadom. lalala.)

and then there's him. the one who always make me happy.


so yeah, they all work as substitutes.

kenape sounds wrong eh? ok fine. kesimpulannye, kt sndiri yg membentuk life kite. bak kate ade orang tu; mcm bwk kete, kene pandang depan, kalau tak accident, kalau tak start gear, tak jalan. :)

believe in yourself.