live like u're dying.

so i got the offer letter already! weeee~~

now i' m officially accepted to Program Pengajian Siswazah Sem 2 Sesi 2009/2010. registration will be on the 8th of dec and then there will be briefings on subjects,library, regulations and whatsoever on 10th and 11th. i guess i'll be at JB for a week then. yeay! bole jumpe kwn2 gak kat sane. ruby, confirmla umah ko jd mangsa aku menumpang. lalala.

i'll still be continuing my work at the cepp branch@enstek. the office gonna pindah soon to kl but not thaaat soon. probably june. excited + takuuut feeling. but this time, it feels right.

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the family is planning to go to sabah 1st week of dec. one week maybe. and the plan is to go hiking up mount kinabalu! my dad tau yg ajak. 62 years old man, still wanna go hiking. the first question was ' larat ke papa?'. hahaha. aku ni mmg la excited je bab2 adventure ni. huhu. but plan je lebih, book nye ape pun tak lagi. my dad has a fren there yg gonna arrange for the hiking part and the accomodation as well kot. so kalau everything ok, jadi la kot.

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prayers for kak sara. baru dpt tau she got breast cancer. 50% recovery. cancer can just attack anyone huh? scaryyy. tak suke la penyakit taktau punca nih. tau tau je dh ade. camne nk prevent? haruslah jage kesihatan dr skrg ye kawan2. note to self jugak tu. haih.

i heard she's in US now doing treatment. chemoteraphy to be exact. just like my mum dulu. chemo chemo and chemo. urgh benci la chemo tu yg membunuh sbnrnye. chemicals!!

oh well. what to do. dh takdir. semoga k.sara sembuh. :)

live like u're dying and never stop trying
it's all you can do, use what's been given to you

Lenka

ba wau ra nge = boring.

this weekend is soo boring. tak brape nk ade aktiviti sgt la. and dgn keadaan yg berkeseorangan di rumah lagilah tak membantu kan. haih. papa, come back soon!

i was planning to go servis kete and basuh kete skali on saturday tapi in the end tak buat ape pun. pagi2 dh sibok basuh baju and kemas rumah everything pastu suddenly dpt call from One Utama, asking me to pick up the prize that i won for a contest which i dont even remember masuk pun. apparently i was the 7th prize winner for ntah ape punye contest ntah, dapatla OSIM's uPapa Massager which is quite cool tapi i dont think i'll be using it sangat sbb kuat gile ok. ni mengurut ke nk patahkan tulang orang? haha. so i guess bagi papa jela gune.

balik2 from OU, gitu gini pastu hujan. so tido la kejap. lps tu still hujan, so dh malas nk kluar and do anything. so i stay at home mengadap laptop main game. i was so bored i dont know what to do. plus i was agak marah with my brother so cam ah malas ah nk layan. dah down2 nangis2 ape smue so i went out to curve last night sorang2 do a little shopping. bought myself a bag and a blouse. huhu. shopping is a gooood therapy.

thought nk pegi tido umah my cousin sbb dh mcm tension duduk rumah, but then dh plan with hani and shira to go fish spa-ing at mid valley today morning (sunday) sbb ade coupon yg tk pakai2 lagi. and then sbb sangap we watched Pisau Cukur. funny movie. and the character Faqir is cuuutee. balik from mid valley, i'm still bored. ah bosannye duduk rumah yg sunyi sepi ni! pastu the bf lak busy and have so much to do with his family. hmmph. thank god fai and din ade, so we went lepak for a while at williams mkn chicken premium yum yum and ice blended mango longan. terbaaaik. (tetibe rase haus)

and tomorrow is working day already?! damnnn.

i wonder how my life would be bile dh buat masters. will it gonna be as hectic as i heard it would be? and i may not have time for my social life anymore? and the policy weekend means no work dh takleh pakai? damn. i hope i'll survive.

s**t la. boleh ke ni?

substitutes?

if you don't have the company of your parents anymore, you tighten your faith in God or tighten your relationship with your loved one and they will work as a substitute.-blogged by Liza.

oh that is so true!

at the end of the day, it all actually depends on ourselves to change the way things are and make us feel happy again.

when i lost my mum, i feel i have no one to turn to. the only thing i could do is to turn to God. i pray everyday that God would make me stronger. i took time to recite the quran or yassin every now and then after solat. at least once a week. i've tried to prevent myself from buat banyak dosa because i always think of arwah. dosa anak2 ditanggung mak bapak remember? kalau buat byk dosa, imagine how my mum would suffer dlm kubur. diseksa sbb dosa anak2. eiissh. and it's good to always sedekah ayat2 quran utk org yg dh takde. and that's how i learn and still learning to be better.

i was never really close to anyone of my relatives i guess. always berkepit with my mum. to them, i guess i look like a shy girl and very pendiam. padahal ngn memembe totally the opposite. after my mum passed away, no doubt i was lost. luckily my aunties selalu ambik berat and ask how i was doing. days after days, i became closer and closer to them. and my cousins too. even now, i think i'm getting closer to my dad's side of relatives. dulu i thought the formality in them yg make it a bit hard to be close. tapi alaa..sbnrnye diri sniri yg kene take action to make it work.

my relationship with my dad was never that close either. at times, adelah rase frust with my dad because he doesnt act like my mum (what?). expectations melampau ek. haha. but then, lame2 i feel much much closer to him. i understand that it's a struggle for him too to be a single parent. (kesedaran hasil dari tgk cite papadom. lalala.)

and then there's him. the one who always make me happy.


so yeah, they all work as substitutes.

kenape sounds wrong eh? ok fine. kesimpulannye, kt sndiri yg membentuk life kite. bak kate ade orang tu; mcm bwk kete, kene pandang depan, kalau tak accident, kalau tak start gear, tak jalan. :)

believe in yourself.

omg.stop.

ah benci lah. semua pun sibok cite pasal kahwin. saje nk jealouskan la tu. diammaaah.

eceh. padahal aku yg pegi tanye2. aku yg pegi bace blog. aku yg pegi tgk gamba. sape suruuuuuh?!!

adeeei. parah dah nie.

nak jugaaaak jadi bini orang. lepas tu seteeeel. takyah pikir2 dah. tenaaaang. ade teman sentiasa. ade support sentiasa. buat keje pun leh focus. eceh. ye kee?confident dividen je.

ade orang kate, ktorg ni cepat sangat. belum pape dh gedebak gedebuk pkir pasal nk kahwin. tapi kalau dh rase it's the right one, salah ke kalau nk disatukan dengan keredhaanNya? 'bercinta lepas kahwin tu lagi bahagiaaa', bak kate ruby aka mrs jerry. yelah, name pun dihalalkan. mesti ah lagi berkat.

ok dah dah. kalau dia tau ni mesti dia marah. pkir macam2 je. padahal orang tu tgh berusaha nk carik duit. tapi sape suruh mention it in the first place?. ha ha sape yg salah.

adakah ini yg dinamakan sudah sampai seru?






i love it when u always make me laugh. :)

mal's birthday.

the usuals did a bbq nite yesterday at my place (as usual) to celebrate mal's birthday. although birthday sebenar is actually tomorrow. lalala.

and my hse now dh ade name baru. bilik gerakan the usuals. sbb activity the usuals mostly buat at my hse. lol.

selamat hari jadi akmal salleh.

sesungguhnya kita smue dh meningkat tua. tahun depan dah 25. eeeeeeeee scaryyyyyyyy.

persahabatan.

post ini mungkin diilhamkan dari blog seseorang. tapi post ini bukan bertujuan utk dikaitkan dengan apa-apa yg berlaku(mungkin sikit :P). post ini juga bukan bertujuan meng-follow blog seseorang itu. post ini datang dari hati. jadi ampun maaf kalau anda rase saya salah.


friendship is something yg saya sgt hargai. saya suke berkawan. saya berkawan dengan smue orang. unless org itu yg tak hingin nk kwn ngn saya. saya tak kesah. selama saya hidup, bermacam2 kawan saya jumpa. for me, kt tak sepatutnya memilih utk berkawan. mcm org cun dgn org cun je. org alim warak ngn org alim warak je. org educated ngn org educated je.

cuma mungkin susah utk kt memahami orang yg tak sekepala dgn kita. jadi kite memilih utk tidak berkawan dgn mereka. tapi manusia macam2 ragam. kt rase kt susah nk faham orang. tp cube fikir, org pun susah nk faham kita sbnrnye.

semakin kt tua, semakin kt rase persahabatan yg ade bersama kwn2 rapat kita semakin jauh. its about time maybe, at this age, semua orang dah mula melangkah ke hidup baru. smue dh ade responsibilities masing2. smue akan ada hidup masing2. tp saya percaya, persahabatan itu boleh kekal kalau berusaha dan kt mahu ia kekal. cume we need to figure out how.

saya pernah ade kawan2 rapat yg mana bila mereka ade kekasih, mereka lupakan saya. lupakan kawan2. ade juga yang pernah end up dgn lelaki yg saya pernah suke gile mase tu. saya sedih. saya marah. tapi disebabkan saya sayangkan persahabatan, saya make it work. saya maafkan mereka. saya cube memahami keadaan dan saya masih berkawan dgn mereka.

i dont really have a bestfriend. tapi i have a group of close friends yg saya sayang bangat. saya tak suka kawan2 saya sedih. saya tak suka kawan2 saya susah. saya selalu rasa nk tolong mereka sedaya upaya. saya cube tolong mana yg mampu. saya nak kawan2 saya juga happy. saya selalu doakan kawan2 saya. walaupun kadangkala mereka mengecewakan saya atau tak menghargai apa yg saya buat utk mereka.


to you and you(u know who u are), i hate to see u guys like this. i'm sure there's something that could make it work. ade orang kate lagi rapat kt dgn seseorang, lagi kuat dugaannya.

to tim, i miss u so much. aku rindu bebelan dan kesengalan ko. and how we always share our stories. mostly about families. cuz we understand each other rite? i hope ko tak lupe aku lagi.

to sitot, aku mmg kecik ati ngn ko sbb ko always busy with ur bf. takde time for us. tapi when i found out u're getting married soon and we talked on the phone, i can feel how happy u are. and i'm very very happy for u. finally ex roomate aku ni yg sgt susah to fall in love, jumpe dah 'the one' and akan dinikahkan tak lame lagi. kahwin aku nk meja VIP ok? :P

to all of u, semoga persahabatan kt kekal sampai bile2 ye. :)