when i read about the 'batman shooter' and found out that he's a phd student, first thing come to mind is that i can sooo feel him. not that i agree on him shooting and killing people, but i can understand how he could be..well like they say, mental illness.
when you are so depressed and caught up with your emotions and lost control of it, it leads you to stupid things. i honestly have felt that (not to the point of killing lah). alhamdulillah, i believe we as muslims are prevented from that because we pray 5 times a day. that short 5 minutes every prayer brings you back to your senses. that's why solat is so important.
most of the time people dont take this people seriously. sebab tu kdg2 depa ni rasa nobody listens to them or care about them. worse, they often judge. selalunya dieorg akan kata things like 'alah tu pun nk emo'. 'biasalah org lain pun stress'. see sometimes if you dont know what's going on, try to actually be more concern rather than saying things that could actually bring him/her down. eh macam talking about myself pulak.
yes i do feel like that sometimes. especially when i'm in that time of the month. depressed tahap dewa. siap google psychiatrists. i even asked my friend who is a psychology student. she said its ok to seek help, tak bermakna kita gila. society yang fikir mcm tu. kdg2 masalah tu kecik je. tapi kalau dibiarkan boleh jadi serious. i totally agree with her.
my #gedz are the best. they're like my sisters already. pantang tweet pelik2 they immediately ask what's wrong and be concern. no matter how messed up i am, they're there to support me. luckily i have syib too. he often buat me fikir logik balik when i'm too caught up with negative emotions.
why am i wiritng about this again?
i guess what i'm trying to say is, don't judge but try to understand the situation. we may never know what the person is experiencing. or how dia dibesarkan, things like that. jangan cepat nk buruk sangka.
i myself has been trying to improve myself. although mmg susah sgt nk berubah to be better. but i guess niat tu penting. i learn to be more bersyukur and sabar and bersangka baik. bulan ramadhan ni, syaitan takde. so we know that whatever bad things we do is what we have become. saaad kan? teruk rasa diri ini.
to friends/families reading this, i apologize if i ever said bad things or annoyed all of you. let's try to be better shall we? moga Allah beri kekuatan. amin!
