thesis and baby.

it's been tiring really to be studying for 4 years now for my masters. sigh the neverending journey..

but alhamdulillah, i finally settled my viva. i got my masters but with 3 months correction time. still got some labworks to do and writings. i considered myself lucky i didn't fail. it was close call. rezeki baby maybe. 

towards my viva day too, my husband was admitted to the hospital for denggi berdarah. it was a scary thing as his platelet was dropped to 9! luckily he recovered thanks to the prayers from family and friends. masa tu tuhan je la yg tau how i was really tired carrying my baby and going back and forth to the hospital taking care of my husband. and then right after that, i was struggling with getting my research done for the presentation day. pagi smpai malam mengadap laptop everyday. mcm nak pengsan.

it kinda sucks. at 30 weeks pregnant now and getting heavier each day, it's a challenge to move around (dahla lab tingkat 10) and to perah otak trying to solve all the problems in my research. and thesis wiritings (oh man!) i thought boleh relaks after viva but clearly i'm wrong. sometimes i feel i want to take my maternity leave now and eat desserts everyday. eh?

but time is so limited for me. i really hope i can get it all done before i deliver so i can move on after that and focus on my baby. 

talking about my baby, pejam celik dah 30 weeks. baby is so active nowadays sometimes it hurts. as much as i'm excited for my baby to come out, it's scary too. scary for the labour pain and more importantly scary for how are we gonna cope with a baby. i'm sure our lives gonna change after that. 

so many things to think about. right now i'm thinking more about financials. clearly, there's a lot that we have to buy and provide for the baby (and for mommy too). being married and living on our own is quite tougher on the financials compared to living with ur parents/in laws i think. and the fact that i dont really have a proper income worries me. i still dont think it's enough for just my husband to have an income. tak cukup wei. living in kl is high cost i think both husband and wife working is more balanced. plus i just finished my masters i'm  not ready yet to let go of my dream job.

although yes, with all these horror stories of babysitters and my own experience, of course kalau boleh i want to take care of my baby myself. gosh i hope we get a good babysitter later (altho belum cari lagi) and probably nearer to my office (wherever i will work later). one other thing is to work and being a mother. pheww even being pregnant and wife pun dah terasa kepenatannya. going home from work, going thru traffic jams and then cooks for my husband and doing all the household chores. i wonder what's it like when we have a baby. ini belum cerita baby meragam lagi.

i think we bought a lot of the essentials already and probably some last shopping within this month. who knows, labour can happen anytime now right? *nervous*

my husband punya nature of job pulak is so busy. i understand his job tapi dah akhir2 pregnancy ni risau jugak sorg2 at home whenever he's outstation. what if suddenly nk terberanak? who am i gonna call? omg semoga terpelihara lah. 

3 months to go. for my thesis and for the delivery of my baby. coincidence tak together-gether? 

semoga dipermudahkan!