malam bulan dipagar bintang.

my dad has changed over the years from being such an ego man to a well..i would say..more sensitive man. he's not the type of guy who knows how to express his (love) feelings. he never said sorry if he done something wrong. he never cried.

when my mum passed away, that was the first time in my life i saw him crying. i saw him shed tears. i saw his sad face. i can tell deep down inside how sad he was.

from that moment, i always try to give him what he needs or what he wants, to help him with anything. i'm always the one who teman him to go shopping or dinner. sampai org ingat i'm his young wife and called me datin! :P

he too has been the best dad in the world. being a single father, he tried to juggle between being a father and a 'mother'. i think that's how he got his sensitive side. he becomes more concern about our feelings. he said sorry when when maybe sometimes he offended us. he tries to take care of us just like my late mum did. he helped me with household chores and vice versa. he even cleans the house sometimes even cleans the toilet!

yesterday, he remarried.

i must admit it was shocking and really ackward at first. i was skeptical of his choice. i buruk sangka. after a while, i came to my senses. i shouldn't judge a book by its cover. nobody's perfect.

having a sort of long distance relationship, i once saw and read her postcard with classic malay language to my dad. that was when i realize how sweet they are to fall in love with each other. for her to finally found her jodoh and for my dad to found love and happiness again.

all i'm saying is, i'm so happy to see him happy.

i'm glad that i helped him plan a small, simple yet grand (grand ke?) reception of our family and his close friends. walaupun i bersungguh buat video slide show for him the night before lepas tu tak jadik bcuz of the system (hmph!) i helped him with his music compilation. i even helped him choose the ring!

May this marriage brings happines and joy for my dad and his new wife. smoga sentiasa diberkati, dirahmati & diberi hidayah olehNya, Amin.

my best friend's wedding.

i don't really have a specific person who i called the 'best friend'. i dont really get how ppl define that term anyway. but, i got a few friends who i can call them the best friends, that is, the usuals. or at least a part of them. :P

this one guy, is among them who i can appreciate the most. we've known each other since we were 13-14 yrs old. been good friends ever since and he was always being there for me and for the rest of the gang. he is faizal ishak or better known as fai.

i can tell you he is very caring, very helpful and also annoying at times. lol. he was always so supportive of his friends. when i had those failed relationships, he always tell me that those guys are stupid and i deserve someone better. he is a good listener surprisingly.

last week, on 29th april, we, the usuals were so happy to be part of his rombongan. with one lafaz, he is now married to his 7 years of sweetheart, zura. that weekend of fai and zura's wedding celebration was so much fun. we got to also catch up with almost all of the schoolmates!

nikah ceremony

zura's side of celebration (30th april)

fai's side of celebration-the schoolmates! (1st May)

right after the majlis. we suprised them with our big present! hope they like it.

i am so happy for both of them. congratulations again fai and zura! wishing u guys many many happy years ahead. can't wait for the 'little usuals'. :P

cun!

i really like this movie. nak tgk lagi skali! hehe.

i'm not really a big fan of malay movies but i think malay movies skrg dh improved a lot. my favourites are always the late yasmin ahmad's films, afdlin shauki's and khabir bhatia's. razak mohaideen's is a big no no for me (yek!).

personally, i dont really fancy big big blockbusters movie. i'm more of the low profile type of movie but yet gives an impact and there's a deep message behind it.

i watched the trailer of this film before and i thought 'mcm funny je..'. i knew osman ali from the previous film 'anak halal' which i watched on tv during raya (lol), it was noot bad. so i thought ok gak tgk cite ni since at tht time our plan (me n fiance) to watch merong mahawangsa tk kesampaian. didn't expect it to be the best but it turns out to be awesome!

time kelakar, kelakar gile. time sedih, sedih gile. i cried. :(

it's more on the kasih sayang between family members and a love story between a woman from town with a kampung boy. sounds typical but the way the story revolves around the funny characters makes it more fun to watch.

watch it if u like this kind of film! :)

p/s: rasa rindu kampung kat aloq setaq lepaih tgk cite ni. lol.

chin up.

sad to say that in the last a month or two, i've been constantly depressed. well of course we got depressed every once in a while but this period of time i was depressed to the point that stupid ideas came into my mind. i even googled 'why am i depressed?' and thinking of taking anti depressant pills (whatever that is) and going to a psychiatrist. yeah, dramatic, i know. SO DRAMA. with ppl judging me was not helping me either.

anyway, now i think i got my positive energy back. i know i think too much and i worry too much. so i'm just gonna tone it down and focus on important things and be optimistic. looking back, i'm kinda embarassed of how i behave in front of ppl, twitter, fb and what not. i guess when i dont know who to go to, i express myself randomly and making a fool of myself. i even cried in front of lecturer?! oh my god, that was embarassing.

sometimes i get frustrated when ppl don't understand me. worse, they don't even bother. but i'm glad that i still have a few ppl around me to support me no matter what.

growing up is challenging. we face a lot of tough times and that what makes us better. look at our mothers and fathers, obviously they've been through a lot more. they know better. we make mistakes and we learn from them.

now i'm just gonna do my best in my studies and try to be the best person i can be, to the family, friends and of course my very very very understanding fiance. no more drama. i hope so.

peace y'all. :)

La Tahzan

a good source of motivation when you're feeling a bit down.

maturity.

'Maturity is a psychological term used to indicate how a person responds to the circumstances or environment in an appropriate and adaptive manner. Maturity also encompasses being aware of the correct time and place to behave and knowing when to act appropriately, according to the situation'


as we grow older, we face a lot of drama in our lives. be it with family, colleagues, friends, family and even your own partner. i think maturity that makes us still living with each other even though sometimes we drive each other mad. its how we handle the situation.

there's a line in one of khabir bathia's films that said 'kadang-kadang orang yg paling kt sayang lah org yg paling susah kt nk sayang'. remember in CINTA, where the sister dealing with her stubborn lil brother who always wants his own way but at the same time she too has her own weakness of having an affair with someone's husband even though she's not happy. her lil brother ask her to end it but she didn't want to and that makes her stubborn too.

i think the line is true. org yg paling kt sayang lagi susah kt nk sayang.

the closer we are to each other, the deeper we know about each other's attitudes. the more we care about each other, the more we want to make things right for them and that makes it tougher.

i have a bunch of close friends, both my schoolfrens and my uni frens. everyone has their own good and bad attitudes. even myself(mengaku :P). sometimes the bad attitude annoys me so much that it pisses me off. most of the time i always want to just tegur and say directly how crappy their attitude is but then they got too emotional hence affecting the friendship. so because i terlebih caring and value the friendship i keep silence or try to talk to them nicely. *sigh* see how hard it is?

but that is what i call maturity i guess. its how we handle the situation. forgive and forget. keep in mind positive thoughts jela. same goes with the family. we fight with each other, we're mad at each other. but in the end things worked out well. i just dont get some ppl make something a big deal for them sampai sanggup buang or affect a relationship just for a stupid small matter thing. that's not mature.

back to the CINTA story, what i want to relate is that sometimes we tend to look at other ppl's bad attitude but we dont realize we have the same exact attitude, sometimes even worse!(this is a reminder for me too). so whenever we hate someone or judge someone, try to look back at ourself again ( yeah i shud do this too).

for me and syib, we kinda fight a lot more than we used to since we got engaged. tapi nasib baiklah matang sket tak make it worse and handle it nicely. i think this is a training for ourselves in the future. if we cannot deal with each other now, how can we deal with each other dh kawin nnti. problems mmg akan ade in any relationship or worse in marriage. again, its how we handle the situation and accepts each other's good and bad attitudes.

kalau nak asyik ikut our way je mmg susah lah. things will not always go our way. relationships are always about give and take. tak kesahlah what kind of relationship.

the good and the bad.

a lot has been happening lately. good and bad. i'll start with the bad ones first.

i was (still) kinda pissed off with a close family member of mine. it started off with my engagement ceremony and it went on and on tak setel setel just because of his ego. i said my sorry and i dont wanna make things worse, FAMILY KOT!. i think i'm matured enough to think that way, to try and settle this so that there wont be any hard feelings. i know there was some misunderstanding and i thought i wanna settle it maturely, BUT, he stick to his ego and ignored me. how rude.

moral of the story: don't assume ppl are sponsoring things unless they make it clear that they are. don't accept ppl's help unless they really sincere.



and then mr fiance was cheated by a man. its a looong story but to cut it short, he promised syib to give him business, for him to generate income. he got excited and he got me excited as well. he even planned to marry me by july this year. luckily, he's not affected financially that much but both of us are affected emotionally because we already put our hopes high for this. police report was done and we hope that guy will be caught.

moral of the story: jgn percaya sgt orang even though org tu org yg plg rapat and org tu pada luarannye nampak baik yg amat. when it comes to money, ppl can evil.



apart from that, me and my family went to bukit tinggi for a short weekend getaway and we had a good time although nothing much to do there but just relaxing. we went to the botanical garden and japanese garden and i like it!

later on sunday evening, i went to hang out with the gedz (yes we have a name now, apparently) and they surprised me with a bride-to-be dinner! (altho tkde actual date on my wedding lg). they made me walk around curve wearing the tiara and the sash but i had a good time with the girls. :)