pics from melaka rivercruise.

no reason. just love the pics. nice view huh?

mood mood..mari mari..

*sigh* its hard to adapt back to the study life. rase mcm nk keje blk pun ade. tp no point jugak. i wont learn anything.

thinking about the future mmg scary. so i'm trying not to pkir sgt.

lots of work to do actually. but be4 i can start with the work(labs), i need to read and search a lot of infos. nk tanye lecturers? yeap they wont help u. tolong pn sket2 jela. lgpun they all sgt sgt busy and susah gile nk jumpe. pfft.

can't wait to actually do works in lab. takla bosan asik bace je.

this cny, i'm invited to these outings.. :

1. follow my auntie and cousins sightseeing (and a kenduri kawin) at melaka on 25th and 26th.

2. bbq at PD with my coursemates on 26th, spend a night there, back to kl on 27th.

3. har's anak buah punye aqiqah on 27th.

hmm. mane nk pegi ni..

so its been a week since i've started my masters. nuthin much to do yet. just have to do A LOT of reading. i spent the whole week reading books and mengadap laptop hari2(searching information in the internet).

have to attend only one class which is on friday evening. the rest of the week is just for me to actually plan for my research.

met up with my supervisor on monday. we've discussed about the project i might be doing. he gave some ideas according to what i'm actually interested. but still, agak ke-blur-an lagi. so maybe gonna meet him again on next monday to discuss more.

gonna check out the classes available too. apparently, i can attend any class i want. even the undergraduate's classes if i think it's beneficial for my research.

anyway, after around 1 year of working, i kinda lost the semangat untuk study(i mean the reading stuffs). probably cuz dah biasa in the working environment. agak susah nk tune balik but i'm trying. plus i think mule2 je kot mcm ni. later on, i guess i'll be fine.

i know this is gonna be tough. but kinda like it though cuz i can learn more by doing on my own.

so we'll see how it goes!

and so he is single again..


oh i miss watching him on AI every week. :)

the new season is coming up. am looking fwd for it.

happy birthday hani!

yesterday was hani's bday. happy birthday to u, my dear.

she's the first of us (The Usuals) to actually turns 24! damn it we're turning 24 this year. :(

i wanna be FOREVER 21 boleh?

back to study

so tomorrow gonna finally start my masters. received the letter today after waiting so long. gonna register tomorrow and attend a class in the evening.

i'm happy but kinda nervous. this whole thing actually scares me. plus, ble dh lame bermalas-malasan di rumah, agak susah nk tune balik.

have to revise all the basics jugak. agak lame ditinggalkan, lupe abis.

a few of my dad's frens there. agak pressure. seems like everyone knows me too. bile call je, they will say,"ohhh..tunku hana..". mcm dh kenal gile la pulak kan.

chaiyok2 hana. u can do this. :)

SEPI

i used to have a very close bond with my mother. i think she's the only one that i talked to a lot. i never really had a good communication with my brothers and my dad. if we sit for dinner together, u'll be surprise when u see we dont talk that much. i've tried so hard but i hate that my brothers are so damn robots. we're like srangers living in a same place. my father and i too didn't really talk to each other that much. but we started bonding after my mum passed away. still, he's a man. he doesn't understand me like my mum did. and we don't really spend time like a mother-daughter do.

with that, i don't really feel the family-ness anymore. my elder brother is almost always not around. my lil brother is studying outside kl. even if he is here, it wouldn't make a difference. plus, i can't even remember the last time we actually watch tv together. or joke around together. so i'm stuck in a family yang sangat sangat sepi.

lately, i spend more time with my cousins, aunties and uncles (mum's side) because with them, i feel a family. i feel happy. and sometimes i feel like the mother-daughter relationship again with my aunties. but sometimes, i don't know why, i feel guilty. it's like i betrayed my own family. i rather spend time with them than my own family cuz there's just no fun at home anymore. there's no home. seriously, i think i talk much more with my cousins than my brothers. i think my cousins know me more. now nak blame siapa?

i always think of my dad. i never seen my dad so sad. he's really really upset. and i couldn't do much to support him. i can't even support myself. my brothers? tak pernah kisah pun semua ni. or they did but they're just keeping it to themselves which makes my life harder.

i'm so jealous to see happy-happy family around. i wish my family could be that way too.

but me being the person who always try to look at the bright side, at least i still have a family. at least i dont have much problems like anybody else who does.

i understand that life is not perfect. and life is never fair.

Happy New Year!

it's the beginning of 2009 and the end of 2008.

i have been through ups and downs for 2008. the worst part was when my mum passed away. it's been 5 months since that day and i still haven't fully recovered. imagine losing the only person on earth who is so damn close to u and u know how i feel. but after all i've been through, i guess every single experience makes me stronger. and i'm glad that i still have families and friends who supported me secara langsung dan tak langsung. Tuhan sentiasa tolong kita kalau kita ingat kat Dia.

this new year, i wish i could be stronger than ever. i hope all my hopes and dreams will be fulfilled. i hope this new year will bring me more happiness. i just wanna be happy. amin..

Happy New Year everyone. :)