Laskar Pelangi

mimpi adalah kunci
untuk kita menaklukkan dunia
berlarilah tanpa lelah
sampai engkau meraihnya

laskar pelangi takkan terikat waktu
bebaskan mimpimu di angkasa
warnai bintang di jiwa

menarilah dan terus tertawa
walau dunia tak seindah syurga
bersyukurlah pada Yang Kuasa
cinta kita di dunia selamanya

cinta kepada hidup
memberikan senyuman abadi
walau hidup kadang tak adil
tapi cinta lengkapi kita

laskar pelangi takkan terikat waktu
jangan berhenti mewarnai
jutaan mimpi di bumi

menarilah dan terus tertawa
walau dunia tak seindah syurga
bersyukurlah pada Yang Kuasa
cinta kita di dunia selamanya

laskar pelangi takkan terikat waktu

a nice motivation song by Nidji. i likeeeee. although this song has been a while, baru menghayati the song after watching the movie 'Laskar Pelangi'. an inspirational story. nice one. :)

perasaan.

i have a feeling that i can't even figure out why i feel that way. susah nk describe and even susah nk share it with ppl because it's hard to understand. sndiri pun confuse. and it hurts to be confuse. but what i know is, it relates with my mum and the relationship i am in at the moment.

yes i am in a relationship. but before i can say how happy i am, it scares the shit out of me. and nobody understands. i keep asking myself 'why the heck should i be scared when i'm suppossed to be happy?'. i can't help it. it comes and goes every now and then. and that scary feeling leads to sad feeling. pfft.

i think a lot more about my mum when i'm with him. in fact, i think i was stronger before. sekarang asik sensitif je and i cry more often just thinking about her. and now rase mcm senang je kecik hati with everyone. family, frens. is that normal?

my friend said 'maybe u nak ur mum tau u happy skrg but she's not there. sbb tu u terase'. maybe she's right. but i think that's not the thing. it's just that when i care and worry about him, knowing that he cares about me too, reminds me of how much me and my mum care for each other, how i took care of her and how i was scared she was gonna leave me back then. maybe i'm scared to care about someone because i dont want the same thing happen again,to lose the one i cared so much. it's awful, seriously.

i always pray before that i'll find someone almost like my mum. sort of jadi pengganti. the one who could be there when i need someone, the one where i can feel comfort and the one who could actually take care of me. i find it hard to beleive that i actually found that person. and that actually another thing that scares me. that maybe it might not turns out the way i imagine it would be. bad experiences too give bad imaginations. i've only known him for a few months and i already can see the future of me with him. and i couldn't find one thing bad about him. how scary is that?! i dont know if i feel this way sebab baru di ambang2 permulaan relationship ke ape. but serious s**t, takuuuuut.

*sigh* sape yg slalu dgr pasalku mengeluh pasal ni, sabar jela ye. can't help it. :P

i'm thankful actually. bersyukur. at least, now i have a reason to smile. but i'm struggling to put away rase takut tu. and just go with the floow. whatever happens pun, i guess i have to beleive that everything happens for a reason.

only GOD knows what's best for me.

"EVERYONE IS SO IN LOVE WITH BEING IN LOVE, THEY FORGET ABOUT WHO THEY’RE ACTUALLY “FALLING IN LOVE WITH.” STOP FORCING YOURSELF TO FALL IN LOVE WITH PEOPLE YOU BARELY KNOW. IF THE RIGHT PERSON COMES ALONG YOU WON’T HAVE TO TRY, EVERYTHING WILL JUST FALL INTO PLACE. AND IT’S OK TO BE A LITTLE BIT LONELY FOR NOW, IT’LL ALL BE WORTH IT IN THE END."

updates..

1) lang tengah island trip was fun. altho i think perhentian is better. untuk ketenangan, or for honeymoon ppl, lang tengah is the place. sgt peacefull. for snorkeling, perhentian is much better. made a few of new friends while on the trip. sukeee.


2) i've accepted the RA(research assistant) post at UTM branch @ enstek. which is kat area sepang-nilai sane. that branch is doing a lot about cosmetics and that's y i wanted to try. keje dlu then see how it goes. if it's really sebati dgn diri (eceh), most probably smbungla masters at the same place. now i'm just figuring out wether to stay there or ulang alik je. cuak jugak actually. i told my fren this..

" i takut la i buat salah decision lagi "

" alaa. u're young. u're allowed to make mistakes and learn from it. try je laaa."

" kadang2 i rase mcm loser gile takde direction. org lain, mcm u, dh tau dh nk pergi ke arah mane. direction u. pastu org lak kate i memilih keje. mmg i memilih pun. tp i rase i berhak ape memilih. "

"yelaa mesti la nak yg kt suke kan. the way i see it, u ade direction. u're just a bit confuse. normal la tu. i'm sure everything will be fine. sooner or later u'll find ur way"

aaah it's nice to have someone supportive. thanks babe!

so it's official. i'm gonna start work next month. august.

3) something else is official. but i'm not sure if i'm ready to tell so much about this. bcuz i'm so afraaaaaaaaaid. so happy yet sangaat takuuut. and since it happen, i think a lot more about my mother. aneh. xtau knape.

4) sue, my dearie UTM friend is going back to Sabah for good! sediiiih. we might not see her anymore. went for a so-called farewell outing and we did a photoshoot. last time take pics together la konon. thanx to our photographer, mr biys bugs, for the lovely pics!



banyak gile gamba cantek2. sukeeeeeeeee! :)


so i think that's it for now. later!