calon.

so me & my lil bro met up with (so-called) papa's 'calon'.

i dont know how to react to this. i dont know why it bothers me anyway. mixed feelings. kejap sad, kejap okey. confusing.

yeah i always wanted him to meet someone so that ade org boleh teman him. jaga him. but bile dh nmpak mcm serious ke arah tu, there's a voice inside my head that says 'mane boleh!', 'nobody can replace my mum!' and 'i can take care of him!'. another voice will go 'she's not gonna be a good wife for u!' tapi bile pikir blk, apekejadah aku nk pkir sgt nih.

i guess i shouldn't be judging ppl based on appearance or 1st impressions. nobody is perfect. so i'm just gonna go positive about this for now.

a piece of advise from a friend. 'she won't be the same as ur mom. she won't. but at least, accept her as a friend pn dh ckup'. and my fiance ask me to give him a chance and always pray good things for him.

fiiiiineeeeeeeee.

tetibe jumpe video ni.






ok. kelakar wei.

risau.

i used to called my late mom a paranoid bcuz she worries about almost everything.

she worries about me driving alone at night.

she worries about me going to the shops alone (even if its just walking distance).

she worries when i go out with some random guys.

she worries when i'm sick. (she worries it'll be worse)

she worries about everything!

i sometimes thought that she was over protective and over caring.


now, i think i become just like her. i worry about almost everything. i think too much. and i become very sensitive.

and i hate it.

have u ever have that feeling when u care so much about people that u just want them to be happy and u dont want anything bad for them?

this is all so ridicolous and confusing.

crap. i feel old and i miss my mum. :(

change.

i freak out sometimes when he becomes more and more (sort of) religious. not because of him, but because i'm like waaay different. it's not like he's an ustaz or something. he's just trying to be better in the hope of being a good husband, which i respect and i like. only thing is, i'm scared i couldn't be a good wife for someone that is sooo good to me. i judge myself sometimes, which i know i shouldn't because even he never judges me at all.


so i chatted with a friend of mine who's married to an imam. and she said,


".ermm ***** bkn jenis paksa terus tukar semua benda,smpi dkt 5 thn kawin pon,kita still pakai jeans semua..hehe tp bila dh kawin lain,awak syg dia lebih sbb awk isteri dia,sure awk ikut sikit2 :) sblm kita kawin pon,kita fikir benda sama dgn awk jugak :) takpe perlahan2, insyaallah"


no wonder nowadays asyik nk carik loose clothes je. tk sedar dh change a little. :P

laptop handbags.

i want these...








cuz they look good, plus i dont have to bring extra bag as my handbag. get it? easier cuz i'm bringing my laptop everyday to office/lab to do my works.

but...dh carik tak jumpeee. all these bags i found on the internet are designer bags and its so expensive. i wonder where can i get one with an affordable price too. suggestions?

13.11.2010.

i met him almost 2 years ago at an island. i was following a good friend of mine, puchi, for an island getaway with her coursemates of UITM. we didn't talk that much to each other while we were there unlike the others. back to our hometown, we (the others on the trip) kept in touch with each other including him. the first time we went out together, that was the time we got to know each other better. honestly, on that day, i knew that he's the one.

we quickly clicked and fell for each other. it happened also with full encouragement from wan and puchi constantly telling us that we'd make a good couple (lol. thnks guys). in just weeks (i think) of dating, we're already talking about marriage! crazy i tell ya.

he always tell me in his own way that one day, he wants me to be his wife. that i think, is the proposal. right from the beginning.

then one night, he surprised me with his plan. to get engaged a month later. no bended knee or romantic proposal like in the movies, he spoke directly to my dad. i was shocked but happy. and i think the sincerity is the most romantic thing ever.

so here we are, engaged to each other. with hope that our rezeki dimurahkan dan dimudahkan so that we can finally get married. i was worried too at first since he's not financially stable yet, but this hadis kinda change my mind a lil bit.

'tiga golongan yg berhak ditolong Allah ialah pejuang di jln Allah, hamba yg ingin merdeka dan orang2 yang ingin berkahwin'

Allah Maha Mengetahui.

raya 2010

apparently, my uncle at kedah built this rakit/boat thingy for the river behind atuk's hse so we took a chance to experience the err..not so very clean river-cruise a day before raya.

spend a lot of time with these 3 little whackos. kinda miss them already.

family photo!
(abang could not make it as he just got a new job at that time and could not take a leave)

back to kl, raya-ing with mum's side of the family, anita's engagement and oh, abang & astra engagement!

and of course, the annual raya gathering with the usuals. :)

not so many open houses this year. looking fwd though for a raya gathering with the gedz (if everyone's available).

bliss!

7th September 2010

hello hello!

it's been a while since i've blogged. been kinda busy with work/studies. lotsa things in mind to blog but it didn't come out perfectly in words!


anyway, i'm currently preparing for my 1st stage presentation for my masters. it took quite a while for me to actually put together everything in place, proposals and everything. one year baru betul2 faham! actually still blur2 but i think i've improved a lot. byk ilmu dh dpt. it's not that easy u know!

sadly to say, a week after raya, i got an elective class i need to attend. on weekends! both days, 9 to 5. oh well. oh and that weekend too, my family gonna go for rombongan merisik/bertunang for my brother. guess i couldn't join them. hope everything goes well with that.

and the week after, i'll be going to JB for my presentation. this one is like one of the very first big evaluation of the students. presenting the proposal of individual's research in front of all the professors, lecturers and students. dh lame tak present wei. cuak gak la. hope everything goes well with that too.

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ramadhan is coming to an end! i gotta say, this year's ramadhan i've been better than before. kesedaran tu brtambah sket la. thanks to syib yg banyak bimbing. belum jadi suami lagi ni. alhamdulillah. although most of the time, i always feel like i dont deserve him and he deserves a lot better. maybe i'm still accepting the fact that a guy that nice would wanna be with me. oh well. if i keep complaining about this, i think my frens would just be mad at me. right guys?

oh and there's that one night where syib came to my hse and had buka puasa with me and my dad followed by terawih prayers together. i was simply..well, happy of course. finally he meets my dad showing how serious he is. thank god everything went well. they actually get along pretty well. :)

raya as usual i'll be balik kampung to kedah visiting my relatives there. although ramai dh yg tak balik but my dad still nk balik kampung halaman die tu, so layan jela. preparations for raya? simple je. kuih raya pun beli from friends and tk banyak like last year. had my baju raya tailored and ter-beli another baju kurung. hehe. that's it.

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oh, one more thing. few of my close friends are planning to get married by next year. fai and fadhilah's getting married around april. another two friends (i cant mention their name) planning to get engaged by january and april. wan's planning to get engaged for a few months and nikah by the end of the year. not to forget my dearest ex-roomate is getting married by this december and i'm gonna be her pengapit! happy happy for them! but then, bila very close friends are getting married, the pressure is on! but oh well, jodoh di tangan tuhan kan. God knows well.



chow for now!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Maaf Zahir dan Batin

:)