thesis and baby.

it's been tiring really to be studying for 4 years now for my masters. sigh the neverending journey..

but alhamdulillah, i finally settled my viva. i got my masters but with 3 months correction time. still got some labworks to do and writings. i considered myself lucky i didn't fail. it was close call. rezeki baby maybe. 

towards my viva day too, my husband was admitted to the hospital for denggi berdarah. it was a scary thing as his platelet was dropped to 9! luckily he recovered thanks to the prayers from family and friends. masa tu tuhan je la yg tau how i was really tired carrying my baby and going back and forth to the hospital taking care of my husband. and then right after that, i was struggling with getting my research done for the presentation day. pagi smpai malam mengadap laptop everyday. mcm nak pengsan.

it kinda sucks. at 30 weeks pregnant now and getting heavier each day, it's a challenge to move around (dahla lab tingkat 10) and to perah otak trying to solve all the problems in my research. and thesis wiritings (oh man!) i thought boleh relaks after viva but clearly i'm wrong. sometimes i feel i want to take my maternity leave now and eat desserts everyday. eh?

but time is so limited for me. i really hope i can get it all done before i deliver so i can move on after that and focus on my baby. 

talking about my baby, pejam celik dah 30 weeks. baby is so active nowadays sometimes it hurts. as much as i'm excited for my baby to come out, it's scary too. scary for the labour pain and more importantly scary for how are we gonna cope with a baby. i'm sure our lives gonna change after that. 

so many things to think about. right now i'm thinking more about financials. clearly, there's a lot that we have to buy and provide for the baby (and for mommy too). being married and living on our own is quite tougher on the financials compared to living with ur parents/in laws i think. and the fact that i dont really have a proper income worries me. i still dont think it's enough for just my husband to have an income. tak cukup wei. living in kl is high cost i think both husband and wife working is more balanced. plus i just finished my masters i'm  not ready yet to let go of my dream job.

although yes, with all these horror stories of babysitters and my own experience, of course kalau boleh i want to take care of my baby myself. gosh i hope we get a good babysitter later (altho belum cari lagi) and probably nearer to my office (wherever i will work later). one other thing is to work and being a mother. pheww even being pregnant and wife pun dah terasa kepenatannya. going home from work, going thru traffic jams and then cooks for my husband and doing all the household chores. i wonder what's it like when we have a baby. ini belum cerita baby meragam lagi.

i think we bought a lot of the essentials already and probably some last shopping within this month. who knows, labour can happen anytime now right? *nervous*

my husband punya nature of job pulak is so busy. i understand his job tapi dah akhir2 pregnancy ni risau jugak sorg2 at home whenever he's outstation. what if suddenly nk terberanak? who am i gonna call? omg semoga terpelihara lah. 

3 months to go. for my thesis and for the delivery of my baby. coincidence tak together-gether? 

semoga dipermudahkan!

focus on the positive.

i figure the previous post was a little too much so i remove it. not all people could really understand it so lets just save it as one of my family dramas and dugaan i have to face.

not happy about it though but focusing on the positive part now.

just breath and smile. :)

of pregnancy and others.

hello there!

it's been a while..

guess what? we're 3 months married already and i'm almost 9 weeks pregnant!

time flies huh..

i've heard about all this crazy symptoms pregnant ladies experience but alhamdulillah, not so crazy for me.

but oh dear, i'm always tired!

like really tired exhausted even when i'm not doing anything.

lucky for me, i dont have all those muntah-muntah symptoms, only loya-loya a bit. i'm like extra hygienic now. i cannot smell anything dirty. everything must be clean. even sweeping the floor makes me loya sometimes.

cooking too has been a challenge now. at the beginning of our marriage, i was all oh so excited to cook. and i'm proud to say that i can cook!. lol. talent tak pernah discover sgt. but not great like all those chefs la. still learning.

anyway, since like few weeks ago. cooking routine has been reduced. i no longer have that excitement to cook anymore and somehow everything in the kitchen smells blergh.

and exactly right now, still feeling so tired, muscles aches, bloated. oh my god very bloated it's so uncomfortable. annndd my sinus is worse during pregnancy. blocked nose, bloated, not so good combination.

anyway, not trying to complaint but i hope it'll be over soon. cuz all this tiredness making me so unproductive at work/studies. need to finish up thesis/lab a.s.a.p! (yea i know been saying this like forever)

makan pun challenging now. selera makan not so much like before. but yang buat i selera gila is fruits! fresh fruit juice! yummm. but ever since selalu beli at pasar chowkit, we cannot find fruits at other stores or pasars yg berkenan. lol. chowkit punya super delicious and cheap!

but seriously, i want more fruits now.

oh my. 

malaysian politics.

only one thing to say.

why the hatred?

stop talking bad about other people and focus on what you can do for the country. 

and i dont understand those hardcore supporters who always hated each other. it's always 'dia org sana' 'dia org sini'. so what? everybody has different views and opinions. 

jarang sangat that we can talk openly about politics in malaysia without being bias to any political parties. if we ask the supporters why they sokong their respective parties, their answers were never satisfying! most of the time they always kutuk the other side and said that they're better. how to have open conversation like thaatt?

ok emo pulak.

seriously people, be nice to one another okay? stop the hatred. 

our honeymoon @ tioman island

initially, we planned to go somewhere else for our honeymoon. but then one of syib's relatives wanted to give us a wedding present, a sponsored hotel room under Berjaya. so we thought, hey, jimat kos, why not? there are several hotels/locations under Berjaya Malaysia. we chose tioman. 

the night after the majlis bertandang in the afternoon, we took the bus from TBS since it's just like 5 mins  away from our current house. we have never been to TBS before so we're a bit jakun. so impressed with the place, the facilities and the service. macam airport!

we started our journey around midnight and arrived at mersing about 5 in the morning. from the bus station, we walk to the jetty to wait for our ferry. there was one counter selling ferry tickets at the bus station (we bought ours there) but you can also buy them at the jetty. after suboh prayers and breakfast, we checked in ourselves at the tempat menunggu for the supposed to be 8.30 am ferry. turned out the ferry only arrived around 10 for god knows why. sigh. 

you must know which kampung you're staying bcuz the ferry will make a few pit stops to send passengers at different kampung. pulau tioman is so big there are several kampungs and you can only travel kampung to kampung by boat. there is no proper jalan darat. ours was at kampung tekek so we arrived there about 1 and a half hour later from the jetty. i guess we were so tired from the majlis the day before. after checking in our hotel room, went for lunch and then slept all the way. lol.

we rented a motorcycle to jalan2 around the kampung. since it's not peak season, they are flexible on the rate. we can rent by day or by hours. depending on availability as well. it's convenient if u wanna go check out for more variety of restaurants and convenient stores other than at the hotel. 

so the first night was not so much activities for us (cuz time spent sleeping! lol). we had early seafood dinner at a nearby restaurant and then went round the kampung and just lepak at the beach. it was beautiful at night as you can see stars in the sky. subhanallah sangat cantik. 

the next day was our island hoping day! we got best price from locals to bring only both of us in the boat for the tour. woohoo! we started early around 8.30am. after suboh, went out and had our breakfast at the jetty, lepak a bit then off we went! oh if u go there, dont forget to eat the nasi lemak at the shop opposite the jetty. cant remember the name but it's always full. super delicious!

and then all i can say is just that it was a beautiful experience. subhanallah. the boatman took us to several places, we enjoyed every single pitstops. corals are beautiful and the fishes are so many! worth every penny. it was even more exciting because syib bought along his waterproof casing for his dslr camera so we got so many beautiful pics it's so difficult to choose for posting. semua pun cantik!

 i wanna show a lot more pics here but it's just too many. oh well, enjoy. 

bye tioman. it was definitely a great trip. totally recommended for beach/sea lovers.

looking fwd for many explorations together!

23 March 2013.

Alhamdulillah, it's been 13 days since our wedding. On 23rd March, with one lafaz, we're finally married! Sometimes we couldn't believe it ourselves and poking each other and like 'eh kt dah suami isteri ke ni?' 

so thankful and sangat puas hati with everything on that day. the nikah ceremony was in the morning, it was simple and sweet. paling puas hati is the diy pelamin! hehe i'm lovin it. happy that i came out with the idea and my friends and family members helped out. paling best is that i can use every items back. yeay! tiada pembaziran di situ. 

i promised myself not to cry on that day tapi alahai, upon seeing syib crying when he salam-ed his mother, terus drama menangis kat situ. it was overwhelming when i hugged my dad, nda and my aunties. like one of my aunties said (who cried too lol), it was tears of happiness. alhamdulillah. 

the reception at night was perfect too. it was not too formal, not so unformal, it was in between, just how i like it. some of the guests came to me and said that it was a lovely wedding which makes me happy. kinda worried that they'll be uncomfortable with the late makan time etc. alhamdulillah guests were comfortable. (i think). 

was nice catching up with friends and family members. although many couldn't make it to the wedding but i'm a happy kid! :p

couldn't thank enough my family, friends and everyone helping out through the wedding and everyone who gave us beautiful presents! most importantly, your doa's. 

syukur. :')

five.

five days to go! 

:)

me and syib were talking last night about how finally the day is arriving after 2 years plus of waiting. that period of time really makes us mature and understand and love each other more. we cried, we laughed together. :)

alhamdulillah, all the major preparations settled. am so blessed with my aunties, uncles, cousins, friends, my dad, my brothers, sis in law and my nda for helping out and giving out ideas for the doorgifts, pelamin etc. making me feel bad for thinking that nobody really cares about me when truth is, there's many of them who cares. 

terharu pulak rasa.

there's a hikmah for everything. nda has helped a lot too. was always wondering how it'll be like preparing the wedding without a mother. thank god i have nda and my aunties for making me feel i still have that motherly care. 

hope everything turns out well. my only concern is that guests will feel comfortable and enjoy the wedding walaupun tak seberapa. and what's important is that everyone's happy. semoga majlis diberkati and our marriage also diberkati Allah. Amiiinnnnn. :)

bunohan.

malam dominasi bunohan di ffm 25

i'm so proud of bunohan! and songlap too.

i know a lot of us are still sceptical about the quality of malaysian movies but i'm still a supporter yo! there still are quality malaysian movies out there, although tak banyak. it's just that majority of malaysian are not interested to watch these kind of movies for god knows why. what to do, the market is like that. the market is more on relaxing comedy (nonsense most of the time) and rempit movies. pity the movie makers.

when i first know about the movie, i immediately want to watch it. why? because it has all the handsome and talented actors! lol. but of course because the story looks interesting. i like to watch movies lain dari yang lain.

come on, faizal hussein, one of the most famous heroes some time ago. zahiril adzim and bront palarae have always been my favourite actors. for me they are the talented ones that deserve to get recognitions.

although the movie is sooo heavy and soo confusing. but i love it. it has all the uniqueness of malaysian culture   and it's not typical. we can see that the production team and the actors put a lot of effort on this one.

so congratulations faizal hussein for pelakon lelaki terbaik (woohoo finally!) and bunohan for filem terbaik among other awards they've won on FFM 25.

songlap was an amazing movie too. i actually cried watching it. lol. syafiq naswip deserves the supporing actor award. what a talent.

both great movies i love. i hope malaysians produce more of these kind of movies. chaiyok!

1 month

Almost 1 month already to the big day!

phew time flies so fast.

starting to get busy settling things for the wedding and the pindah rumah and the 'settle work before cuti'. :P

alhamdulillah we just bought a bedroom set for our new home. will be delivered in 2 weeks time. other than maybe washing machine, we're planning on buying other things later. or wait and see what presents will we receive (hint hint).

phew so much belanja for a big day! even though we try to minimize our spending on the wedding, sometimes ter-over limit jugak. well i did, not syib haha. syib's side is very minimal like that. oh well, girls always gets excited over these things right? but anyway, i'm happy of the way i spent (and my dad's :p). try not to make ridicolous spending and make every money spent worth it. simpan lebih for our new home and honeymoons! note the 's'. hehehe. we were so excited we already have so many travelling plans after marriage! ntah bila nk pegi pun taktau.

will be doing my dresses fittings next weekend. weee~~. can't wait to see how my dresses look like. i trust my designer and so far, she has been giving me good service. alhamdulillah for that. mandi bunga/spa-ing appointment on 16th. doorgifts decorations to be finalised, diy mini pelamin/hantaran deco items to be bought, final meetings with the family for the event and small2 things that just need to be completed.  and oh, nikah registrations! and all the pindah2 barang to the new home. march is gonna be a busy month but alhamdulillah everything smooth so far.  hope everything dipermudahkan. aminnn!

anyway, another #theusualsttdi clan got married. congratulations puchi and adam! may u both have a happy marriage until jannah. :)

                                         

                                 

p/s: #theusualsttdi members just got bigger and bigger. soon, we're gonna need the whole restaurant booked for our usual gathering. lols.

worriers.

being a researcher, i developed a big habit of making google my bestfriend. everything that i don't understand or i'm curious about, i will google it and amazingly there will be answers! i believe everything must be based on facts. i googled like literally EVERYTHING. 

so since i have this chronic attitude of worrying too much (like really really too much sometimes!), i googled if these symptoms is some kind of sickness which could make my life worse.

and so these are the terms that i found: worrier and anxiety disorder.

turns out i'm not the only one. yeay!

check out these links if you have same symptoms as i have :P

9-steps-to-end-chronic-worrying
generalized anxiety disorder

some of the points:

'Worriers tend to be overutilizers of the health care system, meaning they see their doctor for just about every ache and pain' (haha this is so true!)

"Most people with the disorder report that they have been anxious for as long as they can remember. GAD occurs somewhat more often in women than in men" (u-huh)

"Even when aware that their worries or fears are stronger than needed, a person with GAD still has difficulty controlling them" (u-huh)

"Each individual needs to understand what causes their anxiety or what it is related to,"  "If you dig deep enough and go back to the early bases, it goes away because you have gotten to its roots."

and the statement that i love the most:

"Worriers are actually good at handling real problems."

a-ha!

so it's not really a bad thing right? :p

manusia.

i'm the kind of person who hates to hate ppl. (get it?)

like tak payah la nk benci benci sgt. musuh-musuh sgt.

i believe everyone has their own kind of behaviour whether it's good or bad. it all depends on how they were brought up , their experiences and their surroundings or their circle of friends/ppl. tak boleh nk judge sangat. manusia mcm2 ragam yg kadang-kadang tak masuk akal. drives you crazy but i guess at the end of the day, kena belajar accept.

tapi kalau dah org constantly buat something bad kat kt, tak tahan jugak wei.

i'm the type yg susah sangat nk marah or kecik hati, but once someone pissed me off, susah nak lupa & let go. i can forgive but it's hard to forget.

like once when i'm in uni during my degree years, i was pissed off at this one guy and i started blurt out every single word yang tak baik dlm dunia ni (over) because i was just really really angry. i remember saying 'saya tak halalkan smue rezeki awak'. and then i never talk to him ever again.

like my ex-bf trying to make friends with me back, i couldn't do it because i can still remember the bad things he has done to me. so i never talk to him ever again too.

tapi bila jadi bende-bende mcm ni. i always remember the saying ' kesalahan sesama manusia ni manusia je yg boleh ampunkan'. can u imagine dying and then susah mati sbb mak tak ampunkan dosa anak. (ok ni pengaruh drama spektra).

u know what i mean.

'biar org buat kita, jgn kita buat org'

oh well. i guess we all make mistakes.

but...

i'm still contemplating whether to invite this one person to my wedding or not because i'm still annoyed.

k bye.

the power of social media.

a lot of social media sites nowadays. facebook, twitter, instagram, pinterest, myspace, tumblr. macam2 lagi lah. you name it.

it all has become a big part of our lives. paling utama facebook. like you almost cannot NOT have it.

although it's fun to interact with ppl and it somehow brings ppl together but it's getting scarier and scarier.

we often make them as a way to let go of our feelings. luahan perasaan. sometimes 'attention-seeker'-ish. especially kalau kat twitter tu. womens especially. macam2 complain and luahkan. perempuan kan. mmg dh naluri suka luahkan perasaan & wants a lil bit of attention.

that includes me.

i always remind myself 'kalau emosi jangan post anything on media'. but sometimes i failed.

after dh posted something, hours after that, i realize, oh shoot, did i just mention my problems to the whole world?

a few times dah i feel like i should shut down from all the social media. tenang sikit. but it's not easy. see how it already becomes part of our lives? sad but true.

seriously kdg2 tengok post org, gambar org, mesti ada perasaan envy, menyampah, annoyed, and punca segala pe-menyumpat-an. true right?

but we have to admit it. it's the way we're updated with our friends and families activities nowadays. at least we know this friend just delivered a baby. this friend just celebrated his/her graduation and so on.

nevertheless, i still love them because it helps us to share informations and most important, shopping!

lol

we're updated with all these new clothes or shawls or any items then immediately nak beli. so dangerous but i'm addicted to online shopping already. :)

i think that's one of the reason why it's holding me back from shutting down from the social media. boleh?

happy new year!

It's 2013 already!

Time flies so fast. 2012 has been challenging for me. I've gone through difficult situations. I can say that i suffer from a very mild depression. Not many people understand this but i'm still thankful to have people close to me especially my soon to be husband bcuz he's very understanding and supportive. I dont know what would i do without him. 

But all those things really teaches me to be more patience and bersyukur. It's hard but it's a damn good lesson. Everything happens for a reason huh?

Hoping for a better year this year and looking fwd for march! ;)

Happy new year folks!